Sex, Awkward, Wanker and Intimacy: MAKE IT STOOOOOP!

MAKE IT STOOOOOP!

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 05:14 - United States

Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 666

You deserved it 5 068

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Same thing different taste

This is awkward, guys

By Username - 19/06/2011 18:08 - United States

Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 282

You deserved it 7 454

By Anon - 23/07/2017 05:00

Today, I went camping. The night was calm and quiet, so we went to our separate tents to sleep. I closed my eyes, listening to the distant waves and my father playing porn in the tent beside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 167

You deserved it 475

By Noname - 14/03/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146 891

You deserved it 11 788

By ahhhhhh - 12/02/2015 17:23 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 638

You deserved it 6 501

By KmartFart - 04/10/2009 16:25 - United States

Today, I had a surprise birthday party for my mom who turned 57. About an hour into the party, I look over at my mom and she was grinding all over my best friend while holding a bottle of tequila in her hand, and a pair of leopard skin panties hanging out of her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 511

You deserved it 4 089

By johnnydoe6969 - 20/11/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for a year. To impress her, I popped a certain male enhancement supplement. Thirty minutes later I found out she was on her period. What a long night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 765

You deserved it 46 182

By hoho5191 - 20/07/2009 16:50 - United States

Today, I was at a friend's party. Her neighbor and I really hit it off. We went off into the woods and left everyone, including her parents, at the bonfire. We started hooking up when my friend ran over. Apparently they could see everything. We had on glow stick necklaces and bracelets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 060

You deserved it 69 446

ur mom gay

By Anonymous - 02/05/2018 01:30

Today, I pretended to be asleep when my mom and her best friend came home because I was tired as hell and I didn't want to be around them. I was then treated to a loud conversation about my mom's first time with a woman through our paper-thin walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 313

You deserved it 725

Come together, right now

By Anonymous - 15/04/2023 13:00 - Canada - Stratford

Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 449

You deserved it 386

Cool story, tell it again

By GGimabeast - 29/07/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 446

You deserved it 12 428

xX_LilSammie_Xx 4

Monday 16 August 2010 12:01

that's hot.

Jessi_the_sexii 0

Monday 16 August 2010 12:04

I don't think that's her phone vibrating

Comments

joshp406 0

Monday 16 August 2010 14:21

YDI for your friend being a lesbian

perdix 29

Monday 16 August 2010 14:30

The friend isn't a lesbian just yet. She's just rubbing one out and, yes, straight girls **********. It's like the buttfuckers in prison aren't necessarily gay -- they are just sticking it into whatever hole is available, and there are just no female ones around.

Trollz4daLULZ 1

Monday 16 August 2010 14:50

Is that why Kiwis **** sheep?

goodnesspeople 1

Monday 16 August 2010 14:57

Hahaaaaaaa! so you're comparing girls ********** to men in prison having sex with one another?? So are you implying that girls only ********** because there's no boy (or girl) around to help us out? I like to think that some of my best orgasms have been from me, which would mean that at times, I'd rather go "to town on myself" then mess around with someone. So you're comparison is flawed at best (and a bit sexist at worst).

Trollz4daLULZ 1

Monday 16 August 2010 15:08

You fail for thinking he was serious...

Trollz4daLULZ 1

Monday 16 August 2010 15:13

Shit, hit the submit button too soon. ANYWAY, you also fail for your terrible grammar, syntax, and diction.

imababeee 0

Monday 16 August 2010 15:20

what's wrong with lesbians ?

EvilDave 13

Monday 16 August 2010 16:03

#66: My g/f is in jail and a lot of the girls in jail with her are "gay for the stay". We are talking jail (weeks or months of confinement) not prison (years of confinement)

perdix 29

Monday 16 August 2010 16:28

No, #66, goodnesspeople, I was comparing the prison sex to the two girls engaging in lesbian acts while on the camping trip. I was suggesting that in certain contexts, what you do at the moment doesn't determine your long-term sexual orientation. Congrats on being able to diddle yourself so well. That could always cum in hand-y.