Kids and Health: Mature

Mature

By Anonymous - 04/11/2018 22:00

Today, I asked my niece to house-sit because she acts very mature and sensible while her brother is an idle slob. Turns out the idle slob nephew is the mature one while the sensible niece actually likes to throw house parties. I found a used condom stuck to my ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 313

You deserved it 969

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

Noped out

By Anonymous - 23/09/2013 00:08 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my sister and her two-year-old came to my place for a visit. Not long after arriving, my niece ripped off her diaper and immediately took a dump on my white carpet. Guess who had to 'suddenly' leave afterwards, leaving me to clean up the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 977

You deserved it 2 989

By ekaay - 16/01/2018 15:00

Today, whilst cleaning the living room, I heard snickering coming from my bedroom. My two nephews had found my "play cupboard" and were blowing up condoms like balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 047

You deserved it 1 003

By Anonymous - 14/10/2017 20:00

Today, I offered to let my niece and brother stay at my apartment, as my brother was going through a rough divorce and had lost his job. After coming home from work, I found my niece had snapped all of my pencils and had ruined over ten years worth of artwork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 629

You deserved it 338

By Che_likes_you - 12/12/2014 15:15 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 132

You deserved it 2 858

Can't take my eyes off you

By silverscrescent - 22/08/2020 01:02 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I was babysitting my 8-year-old niece. I left her for 10 minutes so I could take a shower, only to walk in on her with her dress rolled up, peeing on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 457

By Monroe - 23/06/2011 22:30 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my cousin when I realized my aunt didn't tell me where the diapers were. I searched the entire house, but I had no luck. Then my cousin ripped off the diaper she was wearing and peed on the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 332

You deserved it 4 249

Welcome home!

By inthesticks - 19/11/2016 06:21 - United States - Orlando

Today, I was cleaning off my couch so my nephew could crash here for a few nights. It's been so long since we've sat on it that it is now inhabited by rats we didn't know were in the house, including newly-born ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 612

You deserved it 6 539

No kidding

By Ted - 08/05/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, I volunteered to babysit my niece. How hard can it be to entertain a toddler for a few hours? Turns out, very hard. Within minutes, she'd turned the living room into a war zone, with crayon graffiti and a trail of sticky handprints leading to who knows where. By the time her parents got back, I was ready to sign up for a lifetime supply of earplugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 409

Serial skid marks

By OverMyInLaws - 20/08/2022 06:00

Today, my sister-in-law recently spend the night to hangout with my 7 year-old. She kept some of her clothes in his dresser. While doing laundry and sorting out clothes that no longer fit him, I found a pair of her shit-stained underwear shoved in the back of one of the drawers. She's in her 40's and this isn't the first occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 135

No introductions needed

By Anonymous - 18/02/2023 09:00 - United Kingdom - Bangor

Today, my younger half-sister discovered my existence. She then went to our grandparents' house, smashed my picture off their wall, and ransacked their house looking for other pictures of me to destroy. She's in her mid-twenties, behaving like a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 106

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Sunday 4 November 2018 23:09

I hope you made her clean up the mess.

hpand 5

Sunday 4 November 2018 22:53

Are you by any chance a family of Lizards?

Comments

hpand 5

Sunday 4 November 2018 22:53

Are you by any chance a family of Lizards?

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Sunday 4 November 2018 23:09

I hope you made her clean up the mess.

Takegami 22

Sunday 4 November 2018 23:24

Your niece might be a thot

TumblrweedPasses 11

Monday 5 November 2018 0:02

Hope you made her clean up her mess And apologised to the nephew for being wrongly accused haha

pscool 11

Monday 5 November 2018 0:15

Always watch out for the quiet ones!

MikuandKaito 24

Monday 5 November 2018 2:11

Guess we know who's your favorite now.

gar2014 23

Monday 5 November 2018 3:02

sounds like a sticky situation!!!

PenguinPal3017 19

Monday 5 November 2018 3:50

now that's what I call a sticky situation!

PenguinPal3017 19

Monday 5 November 2018 3:41

Reminds me of the time that my friend and I were cabbing to my place. The cabbie said he needed someone to sit up front to give him directions. I was getting in the front when he said "not you, I'm worried you'll puke up here." My friend was ten times as drunk as I was.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 5 November 2018 3:47

She’s mature enough to practice safe sex. Then again, who the hell does she know who can shoot a condom up to the ceiling? That’s a rare talent!

rickAUS 22

Monday 5 November 2018 3:49

Someone at the house party was mature enough, doesn't automatically make it her

BurnInDemonFire 34

Monday 5 November 2018 3:54

Idle slob = too lazy to do **** all. "Mature and sensible" = gaining trust to be able to do whatever she wants. Always be suspicious of a well-behaved kid/young adult. They're generally up to something, and they'll wait as long as it takes for the pay-off.