Awkward, Sextoys and Fire: Medieval ****** - FML

Medieval ******

By Brittney - 16/01/2023 00:00

Spicy

Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 373

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Same thing different taste

Thief

By anonymous - 28/10/2014 03:40 - United States - Lafayette

Spicy

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 893

You deserved it 39 847

It's getting hot in here…

By pmek - 26/03/2012 09:11 - Australia - Collingwood

Spicy

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 469

You deserved it 3 299

Mortified

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 01:08 - United States - Joplin

Spicy

Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 156

You deserved it 273

By fire starter - 16/08/2015 04:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I tried to vacuum to surprise my mom with a clean house. The vacuum started shorting out, sparked, and then burst into flames mid living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 144

You deserved it 2 106

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 14:01 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 236

You deserved it 12 861

By Lyn - 18/01/2012 11:15 - United States

Today, I'm supposed to start my new job as a Crime Scene Tech. Instead, I managed to electrocute myself with my hairdryer. I'll now have to attempt to explain to them that I really am qualified to safely operate an electrostatic lifting device, and other expensive equipment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 098

You deserved it 6 706

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 18:01 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 145

You deserved it 285

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 11:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally 2 seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 214

You deserved it 14 992

By Anonymous - 01/12/2010 08:35 - United States

Today, I tried to fix my laptop charger by fiddling around with it using metal tweezers. Not only did I forget to unplug the cord and shocked myself, I also ended up breaking the charger completely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 899

You deserved it 51 031

By Anonymous - 04/05/2018 19:00

Today, I managed to electrocute myself on a plug socket while I was showing a group of trainee electricians how not to electrocute themselves while rewiring a plug socket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 234

You deserved it 1 614

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Top comments

Dr_Alex 10

Monday 16 January 2023 0:25

Plural! And all out of juice. Respect!

RichardPencil 30

Monday 16 January 2023 1:07

If you need multiple electric vibrators, you're probably ready to upgrade to diesel power. Diesel has great torque over a wide range of speeds, if you know what I mean. ;)

Comments

Dr_Alex 10

Monday 16 January 2023 0:25

Plural! And all out of juice. Respect!

RichardPencil 30

Monday 16 January 2023 1:07

If you need multiple electric vibrators, you're probably ready to upgrade to diesel power. Diesel has great torque over a wide range of speeds, if you know what I mean. ;)

TeaTimeAbyss 20

Monday 16 January 2023 19:28

Things are getting hot!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 251

You deserved it 207

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I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 18

The Top

Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time. She has early onset dementia, butt was a pretty OK day. All was going well until she looked at her son and said he was skinny, which admittedly he is quite skinny, but then looked me dead in the eye and said, "You need to lose weight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 228

Today, my fiancé asked me to do some manscaping. I got a little overzealous and now I look like a 12-year-old boy with razor burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 716

You deserved it 1 579

Today, I learned that when someone says "I know what you did" it's better not to confess right away, because sometimes they could be talking about leaving the computer on all night, and not talking about giving the family dog away and telling everyone it ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 121

You deserved it 52 128

Today, my mom said my name and startled me so badly, I jumped and dropped the glass I was holding. She still isn’t speaking to me for breaking her favorite glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 224

Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 593

You deserved it 4 395

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend. After telling him how much I loved him, he asked me to marry him. When I said yes and started crying, he said he wasn't sure if he really wants to get married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 111