Christmas, Gross and Health: Merry Christmas! - FML

Merry Christmas!

By yek - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, I'm spending Christmas Eve at the hospital. Why? Because when I blew my nose, a ball of flesh connected to a tendril of skin shot out, and it wouldn't go back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 389

You deserved it 1 678

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Top comments

Warmonger_Smurf 29

Friday 25 December 2015 7:08

Wow! I am though blowing your brains out your nose with just a myth.

HarleyBlues 24

Friday 25 December 2015 7:07

How hard were you blowing?

Comments

slimeking3 3

Sunday 5 February 2017 22:32

Only Israel.

OfficialMrD 3

Sunday 26 December 2021 21:03

Good news… if it comes out not attached to anything then its probably something you didnt need… Bad news… if its attached to something still, then oh shit

Keywords

Cats Animals Gross Poopoo peepee Smells Love Awkward Embarrassing Miscellaneous Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Social Media Music Grieving Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy Drunk AITA Alcohol Am I overreacting? Transportation Parents Gun control Kids

The Top

Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me unless we get married within a year and have a baby. I don’t negotiate with terrorists but now I’m gonna be single and alone over Christmas, unless I wheedle myself into my brother's Christmas, but I think I’d just ruin it for his family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 175

Today, our roof collapsed due to water damage. I had saved the money to get the roof fixed months ago, but my wife saw a scare story about gas stoves and demanded we spend the money getting every gas-powered appliance ripped out and replaced. That new HVAC system will work great in a condemned house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 194

The Top

Today, I accidentally sent highly confidential patient records to a fired employee. This employee made the biggest song and dance about it, calling every boss possible. I couldn't have sent it to a better person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 189

You deserved it 3 317

Today, I told my parents that I wasn't feeling very social and up for company. How do they try to make me feel better? By inviting a whole bunch of people I don't know to a pool party at my house. They said I should face my fears. I'm now in my room, hiding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 985

You deserved it 9 143

Today, while taking a rather large crap, I sent my sister a joking text saying, "I'm shitting my ass inside out." Turns out I sent it to my entire list of contacts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 2 046

Today, I had to pick my parents up from the hospital and drive them back home, after they were treated for eating large amounts of cheese that my dad claimed to have "aged" for several years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 490

You deserved it 1 626

Today, my son tried extort me into turning the WiFi back on by hiding my purse. He was mad because he'd lost access for being disrespectful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 235

Today, I found out about my sister's insanely detailed plan to abduct my one-year-old son and raise him as her own on another continent. All my mom did was tell me not to worry because she can't afford to move that far away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 239

You deserved it 1 308