Intimacy: Mission accomplished

Mission accomplished

By Lovestupid - 03/11/2009 09:25 - Australia

Today, I woke up extremely hungover next to a guy I have been in love with for a while but hadn't seen for ages. Turns out he had a bet going with his mates. He bet he could get me to sleep with him straight away even after not calling me for a month. He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 094

You deserved it 29 249

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By TheOtherWoman - 20/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 032

You deserved it 12 793

Remember bars?

By Baby_girl - 06/06/2009 02:14 - United States

Today, my best friend whom I have been in love with for years, called me, proposed, and confessed his love for me. He was at a noisy bar so I asked him to call me back later and we'd discuss it. He called back later, hungover, with no recollection of our conversation whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 338

You deserved it 5 300

By paulinapo - 30/05/2013 01:53 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 337

You deserved it 9 836

By tequilashot - 20/09/2016 04:40 - Brazil - Porto Alegre

Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 622

You deserved it 4 822

By Anonymous - 25/11/2010 13:41 - United States

Today, my best friend, with whom I have been in love for years, kissed me, hugged me, held my hand, hooked up with me and told me that he loved me more than anything and wanted to be with me... until he sobered up and his girlfriend got back to town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 686

You deserved it 8 222

By homewrecker - 01/08/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 075

You deserved it 64 022

Waste moment

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 20:00

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We decided then to come home and planned an intimate moment. I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I fell asleep right before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 1 349

By depressed - 22/02/2010 07:23 - United States

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 823

You deserved it 26 497

By Holymoly - 14/01/2009 21:10 - Netherlands

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 658

You deserved it 39 728

Awkward

By Nikki - 18/03/2009 03:15 - United States

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 185

You deserved it 91 567

Jewelofagal 2

Tuesday 3 November 2009 16:42

Learn from your mistakes and you'll be alright.

the_nautilus 1

Tuesday 3 November 2009 17:02

that is not fair to call her a ****, she was sleeping with someone she cared about. whoever wrote that subscribes to the double standard.

Comments

Skull_300 0

Tuesday 3 November 2009 20:25

Bang! Did he flip you over and spank that ass a little bit? Can you put both ankles behind your head?

ClownSmilely 0

Tuesday 3 November 2009 22:25

If getting back at him is what you want let me know and you and I will be the next big thang.

kindness 0

Wednesday 4 November 2009 0:48

it was a terrible thing for him to do. but it's your own fault for sleeping with him that fast. and for getting drunk.

Ninjaface 0

Wednesday 4 November 2009 6:37

Make him split the money with you or you'll tell his friends that he sucks in bed.

a_nonymousTX 0

Saturday 7 November 2009 7:12

that's sad dude I wouldn't have posted that...but it's most likely fake anyway...seek help

fjfjfj 0

Saturday 7 November 2009 23:20

Man, unrequited love hurts so bad. Try to ignore these anonymous haters. Loving someone who doesn't love you back is pretty much the shittiest position you can ever be in, relationship-wise, and it's a hard one to escape. Nothing to be ashamed of for leaping at the chance to make more of it, even if that chance was a lie. Hopefully knowing he's an enormous douche will help you to get over him.

upintheorange 5

Wednesday 12 May 2010 22:36

well, he is a douche, but she knew that he had treated her badly (didn't speak to her for a month!) and she still f'ed him without any complaints. kinda slutty in my opinion.

bored690 0

Monday 9 November 2009 8:19

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL DON'T TALK TO HIM EVER AGAIN. it's not worth it. being friends with benefits never turns into a relationship no matter how much you want it to.

shazaire 0

Monday 7 December 2009 1:29

hhahahahahahhahahahahhhaha, you're so easy. YDI all the way just because you like him doesnt mean you jump into bed with him after him giving you the cold shoulder for a month............ I hopefully don't have to tell you what that makes you...

duck2121 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 13:45

ha you loose:(

happyhak 5

Monday 15 March 2010 8:33

I still dont see the FML here...Unless, the guy took your TV, all your bread and cheese, and half of your clothes to sell after sleeping with you then its not really an FML. You will never be in a relationship with him, so why not just sleep with him and make the best of it? ;)