Awkward, Smells and Intimacy: Awkward

Awkward

By Nikki - 18/03/2009 03:15 - United States

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 185

You deserved it 91 571

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By paulinapo - 30/05/2013 01:53 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 338

You deserved it 9 837

By holyshitbatman - 22/09/2012 14:06 - United States - Chicago

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 532

You deserved it 29 765

By homewrecker - 01/08/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 076

You deserved it 64 024

By adam - 03/02/2010 20:10 - France

Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 085

You deserved it 40 679

Twisted

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 774

You deserved it 4 725

By Sleep Walking - 23/01/2009 18:51 - United States

Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's house, I not only slept-walked in his house, but I went upstairs into his parents room. And used their bathroom. I don't remember any of this, but his mom does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 896

You deserved it 9 224

By Matt - 13/07/2012 19:06 - United States

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 346

You deserved it 57 819

Date grape

By Anonymous - 05/09/2019 08:02 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 117

You deserved it 245

It's sus

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 09:01 - New Zealand

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 141

You deserved it 10 355

Waste moment

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 20:00

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We decided then to come home and planned an intimate moment. I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I fell asleep right before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 1 349

prvag23 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 9:21

That's almost sweet that his mom made breakfast...in a really, really weird and completely awkward way.

drunkgirlscout2 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 9:25

Hey, you did get FREE PANCAKES. Unless the pancakes were green and filled with laxatives, I would be happy

Comments

prvag23 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 9:21

That's almost sweet that his mom made breakfast...in a really, really weird and completely awkward way.

victoria4161993 0

Friday 4 June 2010 22:51

my boyfriends mom does that and she buys us condems too haha

CitizenSnipz 0

Wednesday 25 August 2010 6:47

THIS IS NOT AN FML. Sure he lives with his mom... ...but pancakes cancel it out more than enough.

jpest17 5

Monday 25 October 2010 5:52

I wouldn't worry about it with more and more people living with their parents to save money, unless their is something else like his mom bathes him.

6tori6 5

Monday 4 July 2011 7:21

she's like "please stay with him!"

drunkgirlscout2 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 9:25

Hey, you did get FREE PANCAKES. Unless the pancakes were green and filled with laxatives, I would be happy

TimelyHero 0

Friday 5 February 2010 23:47

Exactly, free pancakes. You get free pancakes and you complain?

jonnyplayzaguita 0

Wednesday 7 July 2010 9:24

yea how is this an FML? FREE PANCAKES from obvioudly a very kind and generous mother.

purpleamandapand 6

Saturday 7 August 2010 23:05

I agree. how is this an FML? you banged and then got free pancakes in the morning. I wouldn't complain !

XanderJayNix 17

Wednesday 4 January 2012 10:09

Green pancakes would be better than blue waffles!

sabrinaacrow 26

Monday 13 May 2013 22:51

You got free pancakes and sex so be greatful!

willem_fml 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 9:29

hahaha kinda like beer league.

D4ni3l96 5

Sunday 4 April 2010 0:11

haha... I don't get it. what's a beer league?

aqua__marine 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 9:31

thats not that bad I guess, was he cute!? sounds like an awkward sort of sleepover

inlimbo11 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 9:34

mmm...pancakes.

XxMLGGODxX 10

Sunday 14 February 2016 3:54

i like yo comment. that is all.

Tits_McGee 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 9:34

Definitely an awkward turtle moment... But, hey, free pancakes are a pretty sweet deal I'd say.

chillaxDude 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 9:35

Bed and Breakfast. That's nice.

blkwhtrbbt 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 8:20

BEST comment EVER!!!!!

WhatANoob 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 5:50

I wish I could favorite that comment

darby323 0

Friday 11 June 2010 5:14

lol!!

neonoodle 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 9:37

where's the FML? Sex and pancakes seems like a MLA

maddog_fml 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 9:44

Wow. I wish my mom did that when i lived at home. How where the pancakes??

not1 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 9:46

I'm with #8 on this one. That's sweet of her, where's the FML?

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The Top

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams, the girl I've loved for 3 years. I went to her desk and surprised her with roses, chocolates, and played “All I Want for Christmas is You.” She said no. On top of that, she ate all the chocolates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 1 281

Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 113

The Top

Today, my friend and I were trying out a site on which you talk to strangers using a mic and webcam. We came across a cute guy, who said to my friend, "Tell the fat guy to move." He was referring to me. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 745

You deserved it 5 828

Today, my husband has shown more love and affection to our new kitten in the last week than he has to me. That cat sits on his lap more than I do. I’m a 26 year-old woman, I have needs, dammit. The cat is literally sitting on and blocking access to what I want most on a Friday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 497

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 480

You deserved it 5 278

Today, I still can't talk to cute girls my age without getting tics. I'm over 30, a lesbian, and technically still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 220

Today, I told my boyfriend the dentist said my blood pressure was high. He was more interested in the fact that the dentist took my blood pressure than my blood pressure being high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 519

You deserved it 10 725

Today, my girlfriend went out on a date with someone else. We're in Spain on a trip together, but apparently we're all done and she's seeing this person for the time we are here. I still have 10 more days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 058

You deserved it 270