Wanker and Intimacy: Morning motivation - FML

Morning motivation

By thermos - 03/02/2009 23:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 191

You deserved it 53 420

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Same thing different taste

By killmyself - 23/01/2009 19:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 371

You deserved it 47 203

By Anonymous - 07/06/2012 17:41 - United States - Oregon City

Spicy

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 191

You deserved it 6 723

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 279

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 18:41 - United States - Valparaiso

Spicy

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 710

You deserved it 3 993

By Ned - 29/08/2009 23:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 518

You deserved it 3 884

You probably do

By Anonymous - 09/08/2021 22:01

Spicy

Today, I woke up after a really intense wet dream. Problem is, I'd fallen asleep in the living room. My little brother saw the whole thing. Now he's going around telling family I need to get some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 231

By lonelyguy321 - 27/07/2010 14:43 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 268

You deserved it 16 592

By frankrizzo - 01/02/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 044

You deserved it 9 042

Stop, please stop

By yuck - 05/06/2015 19:11

Spicy

Today, I found out that what I thought was my brother gasping and groaning in his dreams most nights is actually him jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 436

You deserved it 4 201

By LemonLearn - 06/10/2016 20:59 - United States - New York

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my brother completely naked from the waist down. I wouldn't have cared if he wasn't masturbating using my lingerie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 039

You deserved it 1 093

Next

Top comments

alpuppy 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 10:41

I'm wondering...is it only weird because his girlfriend was there?

kellster 2

Monday 16 March 2009 1:32

Why the hell would you jerk off knowing your brother was in the room?? Much less, why so vigorously! Go take a shower or something jeez!

Comments

ichikibobivopula 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:06

haha you said jerk sorry. that wasn't funny.

isminei 6

Saturday 30 July 2011 18:27

Maybe the brother and gf were asleep after a rigorous night of an inappropriate pants off dance off-which gave the OP the dream.

redhedsaysrawr 18

Sunday 15 January 2012 14:32

no shit sherlock

DubstepMasta 18

Monday 20 January 2014 5:44

Lmao inappropriate pants off dance-off.....now that is ******* hilarious

SookyTurner 4

Friday 30 September 2011 15:41

Wtf you dick

kennalusk 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 22:29

You would want to rape your own brother and his girlfriend. Nice one.

coolstorybro6969 6

Friday 18 November 2011 2:35

Aha... wait, why we're your brother and his girlfriend not in their own room?

goingHARD_fml 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 6:48

ohhh, I get it the sexy dream was that he woke up from a sexy dream, started masturbating then had a three some with his brothers girlfriend... gotcha

yaldo_fml 0

Thursday 8 December 2011 15:02

Courage wolf: stare them straight in the eyes till they go back to sleep

ferosogra 1

Monday 19 December 2011 20:27

Maybe they are still teens living with their parents, ever occur?

zaac15 2

Monday 18 June 2012 22:04

Check your surroundings before you vigorously **********?

sfgirljulez 7

Sunday 5 August 2012 2:42

So what its a guy masturbating ? Not the worst thing .

DubstepMasta 18

Monday 20 January 2014 5:46

Yes but it says he climbed off his bed NAKED right in front of his bro and his bros gf

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Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 93

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

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You deserved it 1 831

The Top

Today, I was gonna take my ex to a concert, but we broke up before it so instead I went with my Tinder date. When I got to the venue, my ticket was already used. My ex was in there. My date never got in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 491

Today, I spent my working day teaching my new Supervisor the basics of Excel. Until two weeks ago, he was the Office Junior. He and I applied for the same job, but he got it based on the strengths of his "far superior" Excel skills. I'm now teaching him how to do the job that I didn't get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 246

You deserved it 842

Today, it's been 10 months of a sexless marriage. Also my 10-month wedding anniversary. We waited until marriage, and she hasn't wanted me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 598

You deserved it 313

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 976

You deserved it 4 978

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 514

You deserved it 6 367

Today, while I was at home watching Netflix, my parents drunkenly stumbled through the door making out the whole time. I thought that the situation couldn't get worse, but then my Dad asked me if I had a condom they could use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 168

You deserved it 2 508