Birthday, Cars, Accident and Health: My pleasure, mom! - FML

My pleasure, mom!

By FortuneFaded - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - South Africa

Today, it's my mother's birthday so I took her out to lunch. On the way there, we had a car accident. It was my fault. For my mother's birthday I gave her 3 broken ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 977

You deserved it 19 258

Cyber Monday: Clicks and Quiproquos
When technology meets shopping, expect stories as surprising as an unexpected click! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

DaftBrian 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 23:07

2 black eyes and a partridge in a pear tree

Kamazar 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 23:12

Shit happens. I know you didn't mean it, but life doesn't always play out beautifully. I know you feel guilty as hell right now, and really, that's the only punishment you need. You two should be grateful that you're both alive. Good luck, man.

Comments

fitnessgram 19

Monday 5 September 2016 14:37

better than nothing. oh wait, never mind.

WildJubeJube 16

Saturday 19 November 2016 0:07

"Today, on my birthday, my son took me out for lunch. We got into an accident on the way there and it was his fault. He gave me 3 broken ribs on my birthday. FML"

Keywords

Miscellaneous Clothes Weird Underwear Animals Dogs Cute Halloween Fire Awkward Smells Love First Dates Scary Phobias Work Embarrassing Shopping Kids Therapy Health Friends Mental health Am I overreacting? AITA Birthday Poopoo peepee Customers Thief Argument

The Top

Today, I tried to surprise my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex Tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was naked and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 124

You deserved it 8 547

Today, I was laying in my bed and discovered a couple of stray black hairs scattered about. This was odd considering I have light strawberry blonde hair but I forgot about it only to later see my hair brush have more of the same black hairs. I live alone. I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 684

You deserved it 823

The Top

Today, moments after leaving early, my boss emails me asking if I'm in the office. After an illegal U-turn, running a stop sign, parking in a visitor spot, and sneaking back to my desk, I find out she was locked out of the building but had since found her keys and let herself back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 251

You deserved it 11 721

Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 830

You deserved it 7 462

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 096

You deserved it 5 379

Today, my new neighbor just put up really loud wind chimes. I just got a ton of letters under my door, stating if I don't take them down, they're going to file a noise complaint with the building management. She owns her condo, I don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 102

Today, was my wedding day. Right before I walked down the aisle in my gorgeous white dress, the woman who did my makeup saw a blemish. She went to squirt concealer on her finger, but squirted the orange concealer all over my dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 114

You deserved it 3 562

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 814

You deserved it 9 724