Birthday, Cars, Accident and Health: My pleasure, mom! - FML

My pleasure, mom!

By FortuneFaded - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - South Africa

Today, it's my mother's birthday so I took her out to lunch. On the way there, we had a car accident. It was my fault. For my mother's birthday I gave her 3 broken ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 978

You deserved it 19 258

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Top comments

DaftBrian 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 23:07

2 black eyes and a partridge in a pear tree

Kamazar 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 23:12

Shit happens. I know you didn't mean it, but life doesn't always play out beautifully. I know you feel guilty as hell right now, and really, that's the only punishment you need. You two should be grateful that you're both alive. Good luck, man.

Comments

fitnessgram 19

Monday 5 September 2016 14:37

better than nothing. oh wait, never mind.

WildJubeJube 16

Saturday 19 November 2016 0:07

"Today, on my birthday, my son took me out for lunch. We got into an accident on the way there and it was his fault. He gave me 3 broken ribs on my birthday. FML"

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 482

You deserved it 11 506

Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 737

You deserved it 280

The Top

Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 178

You deserved it 3 293

Today, I had managed to avoid any mention of who won Big Brother because I couldn't watch it live, and I had planned to watch it on replay tonight. All was going to plan until my arsehole brother sent me a text that simply said, "Spoiler alert: Ali won." FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 176

Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309 180

You deserved it 65 808

Today, I got hit between the legs with a kayak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 443

You deserved it 3 168

Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 852

You deserved it 3 532

Today, I pinched a nerve in my shoulder while pulling the bedcovers higher in the morning. After excruciating pain all day, I climbed back into bed at night, twisting my knee in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 068

You deserved it 404