Cats and Animals: My precious baby

My precious baby

By Anonymous - 08/11/2013 23:02 - Canada - Calgary

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 679

You deserved it 8 734

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Same thing different taste

Roommate from Hell

By fishyrael - 08/08/2024 14:00 - United States - East Lansing

Today, my extremely affectionate and docile cat, whom I love like a child and has never drawn blood, scratched my roommate of one day in the face while I was at work. She claims he just went ballistic, and I don't believe she's telling me everything. What the hell did she do to my cat? It's gonna be a long lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 126

By Nicole557 - 03/11/2011 10:56 - United States

Today, after a year and a half, I finally admitted to myself that I'm in an abusive relationship. Not with a person though. With my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 509

You deserved it 10 499

Let cats be cats

By Anonymous - 28/02/2022 06:00

Today, I disciplined my cat for meowing too loudly in my apartment and disturbing neighbors by picking her up by the scruff. She then proceeded to scratch the ever living crap out of my hand, now it looks like Wolverine got a hold of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 2 200

Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 14:01

Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 328

By good husband - 30/04/2013 16:03 - Canada

Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 853

You deserved it 4 625

Feral kitty

By Polar Bear 2020 - 24/04/2024 17:30 - India

Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 92

Cat mojo

By Oww - 09/08/2022 00:00

Today, my ill-tempered cat tried to slap me in the face. She ended up sticking one of her claws as far up my nostril as it would go, and got stuck. Not only did I kinda get to experience what it feels like to be stabbed, I also got a horrible nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 165

Happy Caturday

By Cat Fight - 02/07/2022 15:00 - United States

Today, my cats started fighting again. Normally, I let them, because it's the only exercise they get. But this time one of my cats sliced the other's nose, and he responded by pinning her and nearly choking her to death. When I ran in to stop them, they teamed up against me. Ah, somethin' don't feel too good… FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 427

By aherdofpigs - 02/09/2013 19:22 - United States

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 086

You deserved it 21 075

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 22:36 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 264

You deserved it 7 318

hghrider123456 9

Saturday 9 November 2013 5:07

So you get beat into submission by a pussy, I see nothing out of the ordinary here

DocBastard 38

Saturday 9 November 2013 5:10

ALL cats think like this. The difference between most cats and yours is that yours actually has the guts to go through with it.

Comments

Ohmyheaven 6

Saturday 9 November 2013 23:31

The cat is a product of its environment. If you don't give it love & attention you will only have issues. Give it love & attention! Buy it a new toy!

tbasx2 12

Saturday 9 November 2013 23:48

You know how to solve that? Kill the damn thing.

Mightytall 35

Sunday 10 November 2013 0:29

FYL dude... But you know what they say? Cat owns you! And you always have the pet you deserve. Pay some attention to kittie and play with her sometimes. Maybe she is just bored out if her skull ...

alex_jaguara 32

Sunday 10 November 2013 0:37

Cats are selfish creatures, but don't treat it bad because of their nature. You will maybe make it worse. They are likely to be trained just like dogs. Maybe harder and more time consuming but if you know how, you'll get along with your pet better.

UndeadRed93 7

Sunday 10 November 2013 4:53

just turn him into an outside cat, and by that I mean dump the lil asshole in the street.

xdejjeffcoat 3

Sunday 10 November 2013 5:00

Dogs actually love you

ripleythebard 12

Sunday 10 November 2013 5:01

Contrary to popular belief, cats can be trained just like dogs can. First thing you should do is go to a vet, make sure the cat's not hurt or sick. Then, start training it. For many cats, a water bottle will work; squirt him when he does something wrong. If you can't train the aggression out of him...I'm out of ideas.

cryssycakesx3 22

Monday 11 November 2013 2:23

my cat would wake up everyday at 4:30-5a. and meow. incessantly. until my boyfriend would leave for work at 9. we took to spraying her with water. she would just go under the bed and meow. eventually she did stop though. spraying her became like a game though.