Intimacy, Tattoos and Health: New kink unlocked

New kink unlocked

By sausages - 17/01/2014 20:56 - Macedonia - Skopje

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 181

You deserved it 8 445

Women's Day: Equality and Laughter
Stories that celebrate women in a light-hearted and humorous way, because equality can also be a source of joy! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

For life

By thats_not_good - 28/05/2009 18:15 - United States

Today, I was getting my first tattoo done. My parents told me it was a bad idea. My friends' parents told me it was a bad idea. I told them that people get tattoos done all the time and nothing goes wrong. Fifty minutes into the tattoo on my back, the artist said, "Oh shit, shit, shit. We can fix this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 418

You deserved it 56 267

By UnluckyInk - 18/02/2013 08:50 - United States - Manlius

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 322

You deserved it 49 729

Spooked

By thatescalatedquickly - 07/11/2013 08:52 - United States - Collierville

Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 127

You deserved it 7 281

By Anonymous - 08/01/2010 11:48 - United States

Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 922

You deserved it 51 000

By Buggga - 22/08/2009 09:07 - Australia

Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 085

You deserved it 12 604

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 14:14 - United States

Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 168

You deserved it 17 279

Inked

By damnit - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off, only to learn that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 947

You deserved it 64 712

By anon - 08/03/2009 08:47 - United States

Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a 'talk.' Now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 896

You deserved it 76 939

Memento

By Anonymous - 20/06/2023 03:00

Today, my quite squeamish girlfriend came with me to get my latest tattoo. She saw a few drops of blood, screamed in the tattooist's ear, and completely fucked up part of the outline. She had to alter the tattoo drastically to cover up the mess and now it just looks bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 523

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 10:48 - Canada

Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 611

You deserved it 71 895

anonymous_kenie 7

Saturday 18 January 2014 1:38

Hey sometimes life is hard

bloodierframe30 16

Saturday 18 January 2014 1:38

Wow. I'll call that a 'Hard' time

Comments

yourwifelovesme 25

Saturday 18 January 2014 5:50

50 shades of ink lol

jaybone87 8

Saturday 18 January 2014 6:51

Thats messed up

howdoilogin 9

Saturday 18 January 2014 6:58

That's what you get for getting a tattoo.

RageAwakened 6

Saturday 18 January 2014 8:18

Nice opinion. Now shove it up your ass.

whatwhyhoo 10

Saturday 18 January 2014 7:15

I think OPs age is important to know.

r00nie 10

Saturday 18 January 2014 7:23

What were you getting tattooed?

QU33NOFAWKWARD 16

Saturday 18 January 2014 7:26

so you're into the kinky stuff

HolyOtter 5

Saturday 18 January 2014 7:53

I my self got my first tattoo today, but no erection from it.

protoskore 27

Saturday 18 January 2014 7:56

and for the next life lesson: was the tattoo artist a guy or a girl?

dachayke 16

Saturday 18 January 2014 15:38

They were a zombie.

Llama_Face89 33

Saturday 18 January 2014 20:13

Hey zombies have genders too. Racist bastard. XD

katt_is_here 24

Saturday 18 January 2014 23:52

#107, I laughed at that harder than I probably should have.

zombiekitten87 12

Saturday 18 January 2014 8:16

Awkward as that is, I'm sure the tattoo artist is either used to it or has seen stranger things.

picturescrazy 24

Saturday 18 January 2014 9:39

I kind of felt aroused when I got my tattoo done, I don't think it's that uncommon to be honest.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Work Break-ups Love Relatable I need your advice Awkward Engagement Coworkers School Parenting Kids Parents Birthday Food Messy Miscellaneous Cooking Cats Dance Embarrassing Weddings Texting Poopoo peepee Health Clumsy Clothes Mental health Annoying Noise Lonely

The Top

Today, at sparring, I got paired up with a girl, who said, "Don't go easy on me because I'm a girl!" Thirty seconds into the match, she was on the floor whimpering and crying. Now everyone is whispering and glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 134

Today, my long-distance boyfriend of 3 years uttered the heartbreaking words, “I met this girl here in my hometown and she’s really great and we fell in love with each other, I can’t do this anymore. We’re over.” I was planning on moving to his town after graduation this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 147

The Top

Today, on the first day of school, my husband decided it was the perfect time to announce that he’s leaving because he’s seeing another woman. He already had his suitcase packed, and vanished. Now I have to take my kids to school, crying over their dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 95

Today, I'm in the hospital for a broken hip and cerebral hemorrhage, bedridden with a continuous headache. My roommate has dementia and shouts and cries all day about a hospital conspiracy where everybody is drinking tea all the time except her. This will be a long month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 482

You deserved it 206

Today, I'm scheduling a cab to take me to my cancer surgery on Tuesday. I need a cab because there is literally no one to go with me, or to help me afterwards. I am truly alone in the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 95

Today, I prepared to do my early morning yoga, lowered myself on to the mat then felt a wet patch on my stomach. Turns out my roommate's cat had taken a piss on my orange mat and I'd been too tired to notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 917

You deserved it 674

Today, my therapist told me that I need to do something different with my hair. Then I paid her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 492

You deserved it 5 589

Today, my mom told me she can't wait for me to turn eighteen so she can turn my room into a place for her to display all her antique glass dolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 570

You deserved it 2 523