I know exactly how you feel. That’s how I was 2 months ago, when I brought my daughter home from the hospital. It gets easier.

(Responding to both FMLs you wrote) That’s life. Sex & sleep are rare & suck right after having a baby.

Hooray for the happy family! That's not FML at all. And get used to it.

It’s probably because you’re subconsciously afraid that the baby will wake up crying as soon as you fall asleep.

That's why us Wisconsin-ites (USA) enjoy passing around the brandy - even to little tykes in need of freshening up their milk bottles! Lol (#1 State Consumer in US!) [And yes, if you can't take a joke - even one that DOES have just a little hint of truth per baby bottles - withOUT resorting to quoting all 1B+ harmful statistics about alcoholism - which WAS invented in this here state - then plz turn off your computer, put it in its box, return it to Best Buy, & politely tell them that you are simply too stupid to own a computer, ok? :D] --Sober 17 yrs, 3 months, 7 days.... DOB: 1969.

Oh momma, don’t be afraid to ask anyone you know for help. Have the baby freshly fed, and let them take the babe for a long walk and you can have a sleep!!

Sleep when they sleep. Anything else can wait.

An inability to sleep when the opportunity to arises could be a symptom of a post partum mood disorder (which either parent of a newborn can be at risk for). Don't be afraid to seek help and consider looking for a support group in your area. I guarantee you are not alone. I was where you are just a couple months ago with my now 3 month old.

Thank you for reaffirming my decision to not have children

Work grave yard shift. You’ll revisit that level of tired again.