Kids: Next time? Never! - FML

Next time? Never!

By Anonymous - 10/06/2014 20:06 - Barbados - Bridgetown

Today, my nineteen year-old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said, "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 386

You deserved it 16 518

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Same thing different taste

By Yeoman - 19/11/2011 07:47 - New Zealand

Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 227

You deserved it 7 112

By Lisa - 16/12/2014 03:38 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 253

You deserved it 4 373

We need to talk…

By Anonymous - 11/06/2014 21:38 - Australia - Granville

Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 597

You deserved it 20 768

Logic 101

By Anonymous - 07/03/2020 17:01 - Canada

Today, my 17-year-old daughter didn't do the laundry. Her excuse? "If it was meant to be done, it would have done itself." This is the same daughter who yesterday tried convincing me she was responsible enough to get a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 627

You deserved it 289

By yingyang2 - 06/01/2011 02:19 - United States

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 202

You deserved it 5 003

Wise kid

By Anonymous - 23/11/2020 17:02

Today, I had to give my four year-old daughter some tough love, which I hate doing. When she ran away crying, my son, her twin brother, looked at me and said, "You should be ashamed of yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 435

Preference

By Windstar - 07/04/2009 07:32 - Canada

Today, my daughter ran up to a librarian working in the kids section and screamed "MOMMY!" and hugged her. She looked at her and said "I'm not your mommy." My daughters reply: "I know. But you're better than mommy" FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 849

You deserved it 7 969

By loser - 17/02/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 009

You deserved it 52 120

Call CPS

By LaurenJ - 18/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I went to my 19 year-old daughter’s apartment when I heard her baby crying. I have a spare key so I opened the door to find her crying in her rocker. I called my daughter and it turns out she went on a weekend to Malibu with her friends and she “left her some milk and a bowl of Cheerios. She’ll be alright.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 155

Kids

By really? - 28/09/2020 14:02 - United States

Today, I noticed my daughter’s sullen mood and asked if there was anything I could do to help. With tears in her eyes, she snapped, “Yeah, you can go back in time and keep that appointment you’d made at planned parenthood!” I never had such an appointment and her older brother is a mean asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 537

You deserved it 148

Next

Top comments

Demig0d6 14

Wednesday 11 June 2014 2:00

Maybe you shouldn't have done it

flashback.miss 28

Wednesday 11 June 2014 2:01

"Well, I couldn't do worse."

Comments

Tannasgh 22

Wednesday 11 June 2014 3:13

Ouch...

Sigilwen 24

Wednesday 11 June 2014 3:15

She has no idea what all goes in to raising kids. Sad thing is they think YOU screwed up raising them when in reality there just mad that skipping dinner then wanting dessert doesn't happen.

askullnamedbilly 33

Wednesday 11 June 2014 18:16

Oooor OP could be a legitimately crappy parent. Just because he knows how to use FML doesn't mean he didn't manage to screw his kids up.

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 11 June 2014 3:17

Regift the book to her when she has children...

kelsorg 21

Wednesday 11 June 2014 3:28

good thing she wouldn't even be able to get that book without YOU in the first place. UNFORGIVABLE. fyl

Nyarlothatep 12

Wednesday 11 June 2014 4:09

Tell her you already made one mistake, so why make another?

draylwwis 2

Wednesday 11 June 2014 4:12

beet that ass

SpamPam 18

Friday 13 June 2014 6:52

Beets are for eating not beating

stupidface15 16

Wednesday 11 June 2014 4:15

at least she didnt give you drugs

BWARD51 12

Wednesday 11 June 2014 4:20

Umm burn.

Spyderbane 10

Wednesday 11 June 2014 4:31

There is a chance that they have a great relationship and the daughter was making a playful joke.

slipstreak 10

Wednesday 11 June 2014 4:35

Your daughter is awesome. Bazinga.

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Zoom

The Top

Ahoy ship's boys and girls ! Today we're heading to France. Be ready to face rain, storm and beer because Lille is welcoming us, and believe me, it's not Los Angeles. Do you all have your raincoats? -Bonjour ! First of all, present yourself ma jol...

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 16

Today, thanks to that stupid ass blue dog, our kids haven’t stopped hounding me about when their dad and I are getting married. They’re too young to understand, so I try to gently change the subject. That worked for about 5 minutes before they were right back to asking. Holy uncomfortable subject Batman! FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 727

The Top

Today, I got sent home from work after a customer's daughter kicked me in the balls because her order was wrong. She was 6 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 117

Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 667

You deserved it 4 711

Today, my sister introduced our parents to her new boyfriend. He's my boyfriend, and he told me he was going to be out of state for a few weeks on business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 003

You deserved it 4 023

Today while at my job as a store clerk, I walked by a family. I smiled at their little boy, who responded by flipping me off. As I was walking away, I looked back in time to catch his dad give him a high-five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 751

You deserved it 4 178

Today, at work I wrote up my boyfriend (whom I've been secretly dating, because I'm his supervisor) for being $40 short on his register. Our policy is to write up anyone short over $10. He got mad and told my boss we're dating, and I was instantly fired. Then I got dumped for being a "tattle-tale". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 918

You deserved it 18 220

Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 113

You deserved it 9 400