Kids: Next time? Never! - FML

Next time? Never!

By Anonymous - 10/06/2014 20:06 - Barbados - Bridgetown

Today, my nineteen year-old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said, "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 386

You deserved it 16 518

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Same thing different taste

By Yeoman - 19/11/2011 07:47 - New Zealand

Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 227

You deserved it 7 112

By Lisa - 16/12/2014 03:38 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 253

You deserved it 4 373

We need to talk…

By Anonymous - 11/06/2014 21:38 - Australia - Granville

Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 597

You deserved it 20 768

Logic 101

By Anonymous - 07/03/2020 17:01 - Canada

Today, my 17-year-old daughter didn't do the laundry. Her excuse? "If it was meant to be done, it would have done itself." This is the same daughter who yesterday tried convincing me she was responsible enough to get a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 627

You deserved it 289

By yingyang2 - 06/01/2011 02:19 - United States

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 202

You deserved it 5 003

Wise kid

By Anonymous - 23/11/2020 17:02

Today, I had to give my four year-old daughter some tough love, which I hate doing. When she ran away crying, my son, her twin brother, looked at me and said, "You should be ashamed of yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 435

Preference

By Windstar - 07/04/2009 07:32 - Canada

Today, my daughter ran up to a librarian working in the kids section and screamed "MOMMY!" and hugged her. She looked at her and said "I'm not your mommy." My daughters reply: "I know. But you're better than mommy" FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 849

You deserved it 7 969

By loser - 17/02/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 009

You deserved it 52 120

Call CPS

By LaurenJ - 18/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I went to my 19 year-old daughter’s apartment when I heard her baby crying. I have a spare key so I opened the door to find her crying in her rocker. I called my daughter and it turns out she went on a weekend to Malibu with her friends and she “left her some milk and a bowl of Cheerios. She’ll be alright.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 155

Kids

By really? - 28/09/2020 14:02 - United States

Today, I noticed my daughter’s sullen mood and asked if there was anything I could do to help. With tears in her eyes, she snapped, “Yeah, you can go back in time and keep that appointment you’d made at planned parenthood!” I never had such an appointment and her older brother is a mean asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 537

You deserved it 148

Next

Top comments

Demig0d6 14

Wednesday 11 June 2014 2:00

Maybe you shouldn't have done it

flashback.miss 28

Wednesday 11 June 2014 2:01

"Well, I couldn't do worse."

Comments

Username735 11

Thursday 12 June 2014 7:57

There's probably a reason for that.

__lindsxy__ 10

Friday 13 June 2014 1:48

Maybe you should take her advice.

SpamPam 18

Friday 13 June 2014 6:54

#2 I wholly agree. I'm kinda irked at everyone going "well now we can't make assumptions about OP's parenting...." But then immediately assumes OP's daughter's behavior is 100% unwarranted and that she deserves to be beaten for "disrespect". Makes you think.

msnique1 5

Friday 13 June 2014 9:10

I hope she still isn't living under your roof with that horrible attitude. What the hell does she know?

effyolife23 9

Friday 13 June 2014 9:53

Next time? Are you expecting?

noligent 1

Saturday 14 June 2014 6:00

Haha

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 199

You deserved it 17 041

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 3 939

The Top

Today, my wife picked a fight with a guy twice my size, then expected me to “man up and teach the bitch a lesson.” I’m not insane so I of course refused to fight, then she locked me out of the house for embarrassing her in front of her sisters. I want a frisking divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 140

Today, I went to the phone store to get a new SIM card. The store manager went on my browser to see if my data was working. Two pages of porn popped up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 497

You deserved it 4 616

Today, while riding a massive draft horse, the horse thought it would be fun to walk under a very low apple tree that sat level with his back. A branch hit me and made me fall off onto a coil of barbed wire, twisting my ankle in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 744

You deserved it 374

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend whom I love dearly because he doesn't share his feelings and won't commit. Yesterday, he wrote me a long love letter telling me he wanted to marry me. One of my kids had shoved it under my printer and I didn't find it until after he had moved out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 408

You deserved it 11 712

Today, my mother noticed that I hadn't taken the trash out in a few weeks and angry, piled various full trash bags on my bed. I've been away on holiday for the past three weeks, I guess she didn't notice that part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 994

You deserved it 3 554

Look before you leap!

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 82