Kids: Nice mental image

Nice mental image

By Anonymous - 09/08/2016 00:04

Today, my 12-year-old sister, who sometimes has difficulty coming up with the right words while speaking, used the word "intercourse" to replace "encounter". She was joking to my dad that she, "had an 'intercourse' with Bob Dylan." I can't get the image out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 951

You deserved it 1 339

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Same thing different taste

Language!

By angkal2002 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my five year-old sister won't stop saying, "Shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 565

You deserved it 3 438

By iheartkanye - 30/06/2019 20:01

Today, my little sister was rhyming words with "truck." When she came to "fuck", I told her never to say that word again because it was bad. She ran around the house screaming it. I'm in trouble for being "a bad influence." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 685

You deserved it 225

By Fred - 20/03/2015 01:06 - United States - Kingston

Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 646

You deserved it 5 828

By Anonymous - 09/04/2016 13:12 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 180

You deserved it 2 613

With military bearing

By Pin Chi - 20/02/2022 14:00

Today, my sister’s son, who adores me, started calling me, “my funny uncle.” I was later informed this is also a euphemism for an uncle who molested you. I didn't know, and now he won’t stop saying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 76

By I weep for our future generation - 01/10/2017 04:30

Today, while home from college for the weekend, my sister started whining about how I keep using "big fancy college words" and making her feel bad. My sister is 27 and teaches elementary school. The word I used was "ludicrous." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 085

You deserved it 305

What goes up…

By Anonymous - 18/06/2020 17:02

Today, I had to take my daughter to hospital because her butt swallowed her dildo. Try as I might, in the waiting area her dad and I couldn’t stop giggling at random intervals at the absurdity of the situation, so she’s probably never going to speak to us again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 287

You deserved it 334

By Ben - 21/08/2009 21:28 - United States

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 306

You deserved it 4 727

TMI FML

By Addison - 25/06/2012 00:28 - Canada - Kingston

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 975

You deserved it 3 644

By Ribbed for Her Disaster - 04/04/2013 16:04 - United Kingdom - Orpington

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 442

You deserved it 19 457

Tripartita 44

Monday 29 August 2016 1:48

Today, my older sibling, who sometimes has difficulties accepting how much of a boss I am, convinced themself I that mistook the word "intercourse" for "encounter" while talking about my latest sexual exploit. They're now misrepresenting months of planning and seduction to the FML community. FML

Aethereal 14

Monday 29 August 2016 1:20

Inercourse used to have a much more innocent meaning, though indeed it's not often interpreted that way anymore. Your sister was technically not wrong to have used the word that way, a bit archaic as it is.

Comments

MrSassypants 32

Monday 29 August 2016 1:04

I thought it was Bob Ross at first, which is even more creepy if you really think about it.

Tripartita 44

Monday 29 August 2016 1:39

"Ah, I see you already have a bush in the corner."

Crazyjohnb 23

Monday 29 August 2016 4:00

"Now what we want is some happy little orgasms"

xTommytheGUNx 15

Monday 29 August 2016 20:48

creepy af

emeraldarcher74 30

Monday 29 August 2016 21:44

"Oh - you're pregnant. Well, we don't call those mistakes. We call them happy accidents."

thatannoyingdude 19

Monday 29 August 2016 1:12

Imagine how your dad must be feel! F his life!

crudeandrudeguy 29

Monday 29 August 2016 1:20

Pshhh. Who hasn't had intercourse with Bob Dylan...

Aethereal 14

Monday 29 August 2016 1:20

buckdharma 36

Monday 29 August 2016 1:39

If that's the case then a had intercourse with lots of women. While holding the door for them, while in line at the supermarket, even if they found me repulsive. Wait, fantasizing counts, right?

Tripartita 44

Monday 29 August 2016 1:48

GreedyGreedo 10

Monday 29 August 2016 1:48

What you don't realize is that while you were thinking of sexual intercourse, she was thinking of conversational intercourse, so she quickly corrected herself by saying she had a sexual encounter with him