Health: Night fight

Night fight

By FistFighter - 09/04/2011 04:01 - United States

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 939

You deserved it 12 978

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Same thing different taste

By Amy - 10/05/2012 19:14 - Canada - Prince George

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 043

You deserved it 5 237

Wakey wakey

By sacked - 22/02/2010 19:51 - United States

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 369

You deserved it 24 018

By jellybean - 06/11/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 805

You deserved it 11 010

Self report

By Bonk - 04/02/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 186

Panic!

By Bleach dat Blood - 20/07/2015 03:02

Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 119

You deserved it 3 813

Accidents will happen

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 015

You deserved it 9 308

In pain

By Khail Lozano - 02/04/2022 00:00

Today, I was making my bed and had an armload of pillows. One slipped and I tried to catch it between my arm and leg. I missed, sending my fist into my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 260

By Sick - 24/02/2009 20:34 - Canada

Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 675

You deserved it 6 174

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 308

By Anonymous - 08/02/2017 04:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 950

You deserved it 1 097

xchyennex 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 12:33

well at least you're awake now.

JHC88 2

Saturday 9 April 2011 15:27

I started laughing halfway through reading this as I knew what the outcome would be - I've also done this OP, learn to laugh at yourself.

Comments

Miss_Michaela 10

Saturday 9 April 2011 11:58

How on Earth did that happen?!

gutzz 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 12:03

It happened on the moon.

Miss_Michaela 10

Saturday 9 April 2011 12:05

Is it me, or do I read [California - United States] on that FML?

gutzz 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 12:12

It's just you, but it's not the location that you're having trouble with.

Miss_Michaela 10

Saturday 9 April 2011 12:19

Oh yeah(!) I mean how the hell do you get that much force when you're cold. I can't. I'm like a slug.

jess6blondie9 2

Saturday 9 April 2011 12:33

That's weird... You might want to go get that checked out..

Miss_Michaela 10

Saturday 9 April 2011 12:42

I just give up on this commenting. Right now, I'm just gonna stick to reading the FML.

gutzz 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 12:47

awwwww :( I like it better when they fight back!! :/

omgwtfbbq69 5

Saturday 9 April 2011 14:17

19- He was probably cold cause the AC was on??

omgwtfbbq69 5

Saturday 9 April 2011 14:19

oh nvm I read the comment wrong...sorry

mz_booty 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 14:22

karma in your face!!!

SuckerPunchurMom 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 14:58

29, JOOSE!!! and NOOSE!!!

No_LoveMM 3

Saturday 9 April 2011 15:40

And SuckerPunchurMom strikes again!(referring to the FML)

failblogftw 0

Sunday 10 April 2011 1:55

he missed the covers and pulled without them an punched himself

shovels 0

Sunday 10 April 2011 3:17

he hit himself in the face when he tried to pull the covers back. he probably did it a little fast.

lulzcow 0

Sunday 10 April 2011 5:54

woke you up though didn't it?

baseballin25 0

Sunday 10 April 2011 8:49

SHE, fellas. she.

Alicia17C 2

Monday 11 April 2011 5:52

hahaha!

RustlingSoul 26

Saturday 1 February 2014 21:18

O and I are close together.

SChew 6

Saturday 9 April 2011 11:58

that sounds stupid

whitesox365 0

Sunday 10 April 2011 9:30

yeah rly you should hav used self defense. maybe you should take a kungfu or karate class?

kyusake_huz_DAT 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 12:07

how did it happen! are u soo sleepy.. haiz that happens to me also but ussually i punch my bed's frame!

SuckerPunchurMom 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 15:01

I punched my nuts.

kyusake_huz_DAT 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 16:32

lol! ur nuts! it must be worst that painful.

OMFGitschris 3

Sunday 10 April 2011 5:04

#36 how did you punch your nuts O.o

sparklywhirligig 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 12:14

everyone who hates you was happy that day

kyusake_huz_DAT 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 12:23

L°MAO!

SuckerPunchurMom 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 14:59

Especially the underpants gnomes.

LoveLife293 2

Monday 11 April 2011 3:18

i hate when this happens!

JDMdude 0

Monday 11 April 2011 8:38

ur pic is totally in the rite place at the rite time lol

Xlax4lifeX 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 12:18

thts wht u get for nor waking up wen ur alarm went off. YDI

ReynshineCutting 10

Saturday 9 April 2011 14:36

You know, some people purposely set their alarm earlier than they plan on getting up. That way instead of jumping out of bed like a zombie they can actually, gradually wake up. I set my alarm about 20 minutes before I plan to get up so that I can hit the snooze twice. Same with my fiancé.

gooBUZZ 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 15:08

Wow #32, I thought I was the only person who done that... :/ lol it makes getting up so much easier, because mine goes off again 5 mins later so you press it like 4 times :)

briidontgive_ 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 23:09

38 , You press it 4 times ? If some loud obnoxious alarm was waking me up that much I'd end up unpluggin the damn thing. 2 is good enough for me.

gooBUZZ 0

Sunday 10 April 2011 15:36

Well, I press it 3 times, then I'm nearly awake, then on the 4th I get up :) and I can't un plug it cause then I'll sleep for like ages after :(

mushysquirrel 0

Monday 11 April 2011 5:30

I set it for an hour before I want to wake up because I love pressing the snooze button. it makes me feel like always have 10 minutes. I like that feeling.

EvilPotato 14

Saturday 9 April 2011 12:23

you owned yourself

crmaes 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 12:26

Rule one you do not talk about fight club!

SuckerPunchurMom 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 15:11

Daft Punk FTW!!!!

crmaes 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 19:15

mmmmmmhmmmm XD

xchyennex 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 12:33

well at least you're awake now.

Alleged_Cranium 7

Saturday 9 April 2011 12:37

You snooze, You lose.

gutzz 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 12:42

you bruise

gooBUZZ 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 15:09

you cruise

SuckerPunchurMom 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 15:13

you eat.

alex1432 9

Saturday 9 April 2011 19:45

you poop

Tuesdays76 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 22:01

You do jumping jacks.

mikolyshka 0

Sunday 10 April 2011 1:51

clever.

Captain_Zorro 7

Sunday 10 April 2011 3:17

C C C C Combo BREAKER!!!!!!!

Grimmerie 31

Saturday 9 April 2011 12:41

So your alarm was far enough away to force you to get up - and you went back to bed? Doesnt that completely defeat the purpose of putting your alarm there? At any rate, that sucks. I guess it's just too bed for you. Unless this FML is a load of sheet, in which case, you should have quilt while you were ahead, and allowed us to focus on other mattress ...