Kids, Family, Awkward and Scary: No one messes with Ben and/or Jerry

No one messes with Ben and/or Jerry

By Keith - 07/08/2024 22:00 - Ireland

Today, I was instructed to tell my niece a bedtime story, so I made up a story where they come down to Earth and steal all the ice cream. Suddenly, she burst into tears and ran to her mom, screaming, "The aliens are coming! Save the ice cream!" Now, I'm banned from bedtime storytelling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 218

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Same thing different taste

By imnotastranger - 09/05/2014 03:01

Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use "stranger danger". Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 621

You deserved it 6 931

By Anonymous - 01/04/2013 16:02 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 876

You deserved it 8 031

By screwedwoman27 - 19/06/2011 18:03 - United States

Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 028

You deserved it 7 525

By Derps - 04/05/2011 09:11 - Denmark

Today, my mother said she called our internet provider, and told them to cancel it. In rage, I left for a friends house for a couple of hours. When I got home, she told me she was joking, and wanted me out of the house so she could eat all the ice-cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 483

You deserved it 39 402

Bedtime story

By Hellau - 29/12/2008 10:56 - France

Today, I was babysitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two-hour struggle, I finally managed to get them into bed. I then asked them what they wanted before going to sleep. The eldest replied: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 431

You deserved it 3 119

Incoming!

By mvgirl - 22/10/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, while sitting with my son, an ice cream cone landed on my head from out of nowhere. I look up to see three children on the balcony above us yelling, "Look! We hit the fat lady!" They ran away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 080

You deserved it 5 598

By miseventshappen - 09/11/2009 05:49 - United States

Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 663

You deserved it 5 009

By Demetria - 20/08/2012 22:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail out my kids who thought it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 509

You deserved it 4 807

By Coryj1220 - 26/03/2014 03:53 - United States - Louisville

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 113

You deserved it 6 254

Proportional response

By Anonymous - 10/01/2022 11:01

Today, in a fit of rage, my mom confessed to me that I was adopted, and if she had the chance to turn back time, she wouldn't have done it in the first place. All because I ate the last ice cream sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 644

You deserved it 174

Lost Reggie 20

Wednesday 7 August 2024 22:38

Tragically hilarious.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Wednesday 7 August 2024 23:05

Always go with the Ugly Barnacle story.

Comments

Lost Reggie 20

Wednesday 7 August 2024 22:38

Tragically hilarious.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Wednesday 7 August 2024 23:05

Always go with the Ugly Barnacle story.

poopface82 19

Thursday 8 August 2024 1:21

I think I’m telling this story to my daughter this weekend.

Chazzster 28

Thursday 8 August 2024 22:34

When my children were little growing up I used to read a bedtime story from a favorite book. And sometimes I made up stories too… Some children (and adults) seem to be unusually fragile emotionally. I don’t really understand why that is - sometimes it might be because they’ve been too sheltered, and sometimes it is because they’re been exposed to trauma, and sometimes it’s just an inherent quirk of their personality…