Intimacy: Nosey - FML

Nosey

By Jess - 04/05/2009 17:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband and I got back from our honeymoon and we saw his mom's car in front of our house. When we walked in she asked us so many questions about our trip. The first question she asked my husband was, "Were you satisfied with her in bed?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 379

You deserved it 3 572

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Same thing different taste

Stop talking, stop talking now

By Anonymous - 14/06/2012 15:49 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what posessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to dicuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 132

You deserved it 2 669

By Anonymous - 12/12/2017 19:00

Today, I returned home from my honeymoon and met my dad for coffee. He told me he's been seeing someone and he's so happy. It's my new mother-in-law. They moved in together during my wedding weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 654

You deserved it 357

Tense dinner

By bittenbyadonkey - 28/01/2011 17:23 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 279

You deserved it 3 577

By weirdedout - 24/05/2010 15:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, while sitting at a red light, my mother asked, "Do you have any intimacy questions?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 667

You deserved it 5 251

By Interrupted - 27/11/2010 01:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, while I was making love to my fiancé, his mom walked out of the hotel bathroom and sat in a chair less than two feet away from the bed. She made idle conversation with us for the next 15 minutes. My fiancé was still inside me the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 834

You deserved it 8 163

Dry

By moresexperience - 11/09/2009 12:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend of five months along with my mom and dad. It all was going fine until my mom asked aloud, "Everything going smooth for you in the bedroom?" to which my girlfriend replied, "No." I'd actually been painting the master bedroom at my parent's house for some extra cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 470

You deserved it 4 307

By BrisbaneCoop - 04/04/2011 17:13 - Australia

Today, my fiancé and I visited his family for dinner. The entire time I was there, his mother and sister had an in depth conversation about how attractive his ex girlfriends were and how they got along with them so well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 294

You deserved it 3 094

Avoidance

By Anonymous - 25/06/2023 00:02

Spicy

Today, we got back from vacation. In the lead up to our vacation, my girlfriend talked excitedly about all the sex we could have. When we got to the hotel, I heard, "I can't be comfortable, what if they hear us in the hall?" After we got home, first thing was, "I want to deep clean the bedroom, sex can wait." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 163

You deserved it 269

Where did that come from?

By psychicmother - 09/09/2011 10:58 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 771

You deserved it 4 872

Freak out

By Anonymous - 10/08/2022 10:00

Spicy

Today, we got on the plane for our honeymoon and her parents were on the same damn plane, going to the same spa resort, in the room next door, and my wife has the nerve to tell me it was a coincidence. How we supposed to get our sexy freak on, sharing a bedroom wall with her repressed mother? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 675

You deserved it 197

Next

Top comments

farmgirl 3

Monday 4 May 2009 23:11

ask your father-in-law if he's satisfied in bed right in front of that bitch

wowfmlife 0

Monday 4 May 2009 23:04

This would only be a FML if he said no

Comments

PatRme 9

Saturday 12 June 2010 7:36

well, was he?

tykiej 0

Tuesday 7 December 2010 5:37

Sounds like my mother-in-law!

bookgirl_7 12

Friday 17 December 2010 4:05

Well, were you?

Computersrule 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 4:54

You shouldve Did it while on vacation

Harpy20 24

Thursday 30 June 2011 6:36

what is this, the 1300's?! WTF

DarkScythe951 4

Monday 29 August 2011 21:06

The center of that clock looks like a mangekyou sharingan

jc95sd 3

Tuesday 27 November 2012 22:06

****** better have said yes!!

Emma Marshall_738558922 12

Sunday 23 December 2018 2:58

That's just weird

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family Cats DIY Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 579

You deserved it 5 576

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 508

You deserved it 15 067

The Top

Today, I spent $300 just to find out my dog likes to drink a lot of water and then pee everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 949

You deserved it 625

Today, after telling my boyfriend I never achieved an orgasm with any of my past partners, and therefore telling him what I need to get there, he won't even touch me, let alone do anything "down there" because he has never done it on any of his past girlfriends, and thinks it's gross. I make sure to always be fresh and clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 182

You deserved it 280

Today, I was on the subway when I felt like I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people, who had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 119

You deserved it 3 275

Today, I hosted my 6-year-old daughter's birthday party. After inviting 15 kids from her class, making a huge 2-flavor character cake, and cutting pool noodles for light sabers, only 1 kid showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 048

You deserved it 872

Today, I replaced the battery in a closet’s electronic keypad door lock, and I accidentally locked myself inside. My family was traveling, so I had to call a neighbor. He got me out, but took pictures and posted them to social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 593

You deserved it 735

Today, my girlfriend got drunk and hit her head at a New Year's party. I took her to the emergency room just in case as she was bleeding, but she protested, yelled at the nurse, and got kicked out. Now she’s arguing with me about whether or not a head injury warrants an emergency room visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 122