Intimacy, Health and Sex: Not now!

Not now!

By virgin - 25/11/2018 20:00

Today, I was excited because tomorrow I was going to lose my virginity. I just used the bathroom; I got my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 123

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Same thing different taste

Bad timing

By Horneyandbleeding - 23/11/2020 07:01 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I got my period. I was going to have my first threesome tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 493

A tale as old as time

By flopsy - 03/12/2010 16:19 - Australia

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 417

You deserved it 11 363

By NotALuckyGuy - 07/04/2015 16:19 - United States - Columbus

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 033

You deserved it 47 399

By unsatisfied - 09/02/2010 03:33 - France

Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 463

You deserved it 5 361

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 00:39 - United States

Today, my boyfriend confessed his desire to have sex while I'm on my period. He calls it "bloody victory." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 319

You deserved it 5 929

By fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU - 03/03/2014 22:35 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 319

You deserved it 9 619

By Anonymous - 02/05/2015 02:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 013

You deserved it 4 134

By Anonymous - 04/02/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 413

You deserved it 3 890

By kaitlin - 19/02/2010 06:30 - Australia

Today, I lost my virginity to an ultrasound probe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 132

You deserved it 4 393

By PissyPants - 20/06/2010 05:12 - United States

Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 226

You deserved it 29 353

ThrottleJockey 35

Sunday 15 April 2018 4:56

When the river runs red take the dirt road home.

thedukutree123 24

Saturday 14 April 2018 22:36

Hopefully he doesn't mind that 😂

Comments

thedukutree123 24

Saturday 14 April 2018 22:36

Hopefully he doesn't mind that 😂

ThrottleJockey 35

Sunday 15 April 2018 4:56

When the river runs red take the dirt road home.

Keywords

Animals Cats Gross Health Relatable Poopoo peepee Creepy Scary Kids Mental health Parents Miscellaneous Cold weather Embarrassing Love Dating Tinder Work Cute Transportation Cops Awkward Sports Crush Teachers Education AITA Weddings Public freakouts Mother in law

The Top

Today, it's been a few months ago since we finally got the divorce we’ve wanted for years. He seems to have forgotten our shared photo library as he just uploaded a bunch of photos of all his disgusting sexual exploits, including the threesome he always wanted. Meanwhile, I can’t get so much as a second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 235

Good morning guys! Today's interview has been done in some extreme circumstances. It was about 36° Celsius, and half of the Completely Serious Comics crew was working while the other one was cooking. Well, it was a bit crazy as you can imagine. So m...

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

The Top

Today, I started at a new college. I bought my textbooks and went to my first class only to find out that they changed my schedule without telling me. I'd already opened the book. I could not get $200 back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 661

You deserved it 347

Today, as I was waiting in line to give my mom her birthday present, my dad gave her the exact same gift I'd also bought for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 294

You deserved it 4 796

Today, the guardian angel charm my grandma gave to me for "safe driving" fell off my sun visor while I was driving. This scared me enough to cause me to swerve into another moving car. So much for safe driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 708

You deserved it 7 115

Today, I was sitting with a group of people at lunch. I was having a bad day, so I began venting to them. Eventually, they got tired of it and banned me from the table, because my "depressing mindset" reminds them of their trauma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 1 058

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for racism after I refused to hire a black woman. I didn't hire her because she came to the interview wearing what was basically a bikini and she was covered in tattoos depicting lewd sex acts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 459

You deserved it 297

Today, my husband and I mutually discovered that we are both infected with pubic lice. How? I found his and he found mine while we were in the middle of 69-ing each other. So, so gross. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 503

You deserved it 1 624

Not now!

Same thing different taste

Bad timing

A tale as old as time

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