Love, Work and Cute: Nuclear family

Nuclear family

By Mudturtle - 19/12/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I got a fantastic job offer at a nuclear power plant. My girlfriend seemed really shocked and upset when I told her. Apparently, working there will make me radioactive, and our children will be mutants. I don't know where to begin with this one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 136

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Same thing different taste

By GlowInTheDark - 09/12/2011 07:41 - Australia

Today, I told my boyfriend about how a few years ago I had cancer, and how I underwent radiation therapy. His response? "Did you glow in the dark?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 676

You deserved it 3 969

By Anonymous - 20/12/2012 21:49 - United Kingdom - London

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 430

You deserved it 6 543

Out of the frying pan…

By Anonymous - 06/06/2023 10:00

Today, I was offered a job that pays almost double what I'm currently making. I just found out that it requires me to relocate to Florida. I'm forced to turn it down to protect my young trans daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 1 140

By ari - 18/02/2013 22:15 - United States

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 931

You deserved it 3 891

Not worth it

By Anonymous - 17/12/2021 20:01

Today, I drove 4 hours to see a girl I’ve been messaging with for months. Her friends came along for everything. I opted to sleep in my car, and go fishing alone. I didn’t know the river was near a nuclear power plant, so I’m probably sterile now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 408

The struggle is real

By Anonymous - 06/07/2022 02:00

Today, after my girlfriend of a year got accidentally pregnant, we were discussing it, and she only just now revealed she thinks vaccines are an evil conspiracy between hospitals and drug companies, and she’s carrying my baby. The next 18 years with this mad woman are not going to go well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 703

By work -_- - 22/04/2013 13:22 - United Kingdom - Mitcham

Today, I was feeling really sick at work. I messaged my boss whether his girlfriend, who also works there, could cover me. He then came down, shouting at me that whatever illness I have, I've also passed on to his girlfriend. I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 263

You deserved it 3 779

How d'you think?

By Anonymous - 02/04/2020 02:00

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 657

You deserved it 196

By radiationkillz - 21/03/2011 04:25 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 279

You deserved it 7 289

Who's the moron now?

By Rob - 03/10/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, before I could realise what I was doing, I replied-all to an email chain about a huge company issue, saying, "FFS, this is ridiculous and moronic, and so is upper management." I’m still employed, but everyone now avoids me like I’m radioactive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 590

Middle Age Divorced Dad 16

Wednesday 20 December 2023 2:41

Having kids children with her will make the children stupid.

MistressAfrodite 5

Wednesday 20 December 2023 0:03

guess the only thing to suggest if you can’t convince her that this is ludicrous is to deposit your sperm into a sperm bank before you’re “radiated” lol.

Comments

MistressAfrodite 5

Wednesday 20 December 2023 0:02

congrats on the new job

MistressAfrodite 5

Wednesday 20 December 2023 0:03

guess the only thing to suggest if you can’t convince her that this is ludicrous is to deposit your sperm into a sperm bank before you’re “radiated” lol.

ahabsfan 14

Wednesday 20 December 2023 2:31

Do they have spiders?

Middle Age Divorced Dad 16

Wednesday 20 December 2023 2:41

Having kids children with her will make the children stupid.

Rake 15

Wednesday 20 December 2023 7:03

Working in a power plant does have its risks. Being exposed to radiation is one of them. For example, that is why procedures are much stricter to married women.

Radulf 8

Wednesday 20 December 2023 17:31

Working in an environment where we are handling radioactive substances, I can assure you that men and women, married or not, are treated the same. Only exception is pregnant women. Once a women declares being pregnant, they are assigned a job where they are not getting near radioactive substances. Don't forget, women don't have to be married to become pregnant.

Rake 15

Wednesday 20 December 2023 7:04

Sounds like the flashback episode from the simpsons

TomeDr 24

Wednesday 20 December 2023 12:13

Why don’t you start with educating her so you can put her fears to rest?

Crowned Sataness 12

Wednesday 20 December 2023 22:37

actually I have a friend who's dad worked many years at a plant and damaged his sperm, said friend is albino and legally blind. BUT safety has come a long way in the last 45 years he's been alive