By Anonymous - 20/12/2012 21:49 - United Kingdom - London

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 430
You deserved it 6 543
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Top comments

keverdeen 14

I don't think I've ever read an fml with such detailed imagery...

339 8

Comments

kerrwoof 13

How did this post make it through the moderate process? How you worded it was terrible. Let the thumb downs begin.

0 0
the_smart_way 10

Attempt at a joke

47 2
MichellinMan 20

I cracked up at this comment just because of its pure stupidity.

22 5
TheGodDamnJoker 9

In order to preserve the sacred tradition I will say it xD "what a shitty situation OP" xD

8 3
keverdeen 14

I don't think I've ever read an fml with such detailed imagery...

339 8
spikekutter 9

how am i high or stupid? i think that op is the high or stupid one..

0 1
keverdeen 14

Well now I stand corrected #38. good God.

48 1
Hiimhaileypotter 52

#38- I remember reading that on the day it was published. Freaking hilarious! This one comes as a close second though!

4 7
oj101 33

Aw OP, what a shitty sit..... Gets head bashed on keyboard dnksjshabahhalaodbrbaklalsdd

14 2
soccerchick800 10

I don't think I've ever read an FML with such a strong British accent in my head before!

20 4
TourettesGuyFTW 25

There is no such thing as a British accent. What you're hearing in your head is the posh Hollywood stereotype. We aren't all Colin Firth!

0 0
skyttlz 32

That story made me realize national dog day is my birthday lol.

0 2
TopBanana20 11

The guy got suspended, if OP "got him back worse", I'm sure OP would get ratted out and suspended too. So kind of pointless, don't you think?

25 4
spikekutter 9

yeah, this fml doesnt make much sense the first time you read it..

13 79
Shrike 23

Holy shit, you must be pretty high and/or stupid, then.

39 1
Pleonasm 35

It's the end of the world, what do you expect, Shrike?

19 5
RvidxrKlvn 8

Too many people just skim right through everything

18 2
mtlfenix 7

No, just f'n stupid ... I'm high and I got it right away :)

15 1
GothickNihilist 15

Cockbite is definitely a new one. It's right up there with asscricket and fuckball.

37 1
olpally 32

And douche nozzle! Lol :D

15 4
andyyroxx 20

Cuntnugget! Piece of ass, fuckass, cheesy scrotum, dickpicker.

4 3
lemonlift 6

I like the pun in there, "this shit" good stuff op

0 0
oj101 33

Agreed. I have to Ass a point, that your co-worker is despicable. What a turd. It's time to go nuclear with him. What a crappy shituation.

6 14
BellaBelle_fml 23

oj101; You tried way to hard to make your so-called puns work. Some of them didn't even make any sense, and the rest just didn't go together to make a coherent sentence.

2 2
mbpoland 5

Wait, I thought that biological and nuclear warfare were against the Geneva convention?

22 7
onorexveritas 23

you know it doesn't just happen in movies

6 16
onorexveritas 23

that was my point

1 11