Obey! - FML

Obey!

By twinkygaymer - 27/06/2020 02:02

Today, I got screamed at by a girl because I said I didn’t want to go on a date with her. I’m a gay man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 701

You deserved it 195

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Insanity

By Leroy - 05/10/2019 02:01 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 205

You deserved it 133

By ThirdWheelHell - 30/06/2016 06:07 - United States - Farmville

Today, I had a date with a guy. We ran into our gay friend at the theater, who insisted on coming along. My date was pissed, but I couldn't turn our friend away. Afterwards, my date texted our friend, mad because he crashed the date. Turns out he isn't gay. And only crashed it because he likes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 012

You deserved it 3 537

By lonerboner - 03/10/2012 13:47 - United States

Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 061

You deserved it 37 248

Wokescolds gonna wokescold

By DisneyGal - 22/04/2022 18:00

Today, I was screamed at by a girl, all because I wore a pride-themed Mickey Mouse shirt. Apparently, I’m supporting “hypocritical capitalist freaks” who profit off LGBT people, yet support anti-LGBT legislation. Also, she commented about my Starbucks drink, another “anti-LGBT company.” I can’t win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 368

By apparentlybutch - 05/09/2014 21:11 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 213

You deserved it 4 571

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 19/12/2012 01:49 - United States

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 628

You deserved it 3 904

By Too manly - 20/03/2013 04:54 - United States - Stockton

Today, as I was walking with my boyfriend, holding hands, a woman began screaming at us about how we "f*ggots" are "ruining America." I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 546

You deserved it 4 543

Tsk Tsk

By whatiswrongwiththeworld - 14/07/2017 13:01

Today, I was told off by a random woman who said that I should be ashamed of myself for dating such an older man. I was having dinner with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 920

You deserved it 290

Holy stereotypes, mom!

By BtoTheRtoTheTTK - 19/02/2017 14:00 - United States - Winter Haven

Today, at a mall, my mom accused me of lying about being gay, just because I said I don't like shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 217

You deserved it 518

By imafunguy - 05/10/2012 00:28 - United States

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 924

You deserved it 3 090

Next

Top comments

ojoRojo 27

Saturday 27 June 2020 14:24

Well it’s pretty rude of you not to change your sexual orientation for her. (Jk she’s an idiot)

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 27 June 2020 3:17

Really, she should pay. My custom is whoever does the inviting should be prepared to pay for the whole thing.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 27 June 2020 2:43

Why can't you just go out with her and not have sex? You didn't need to humiliate her by rejecting her!

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 27 June 2020 3:04

Eat out, but not eat out.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 27 June 2020 3:07

Exactly! I've heard there are still some people who don't have sex on the first date (weirdos). Pretend to be one of those!

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 27 June 2020 3:14

And make her pay her share. Gender equality and whatnot.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 27 June 2020 3:17

Really, she should pay. My custom is whoever does the inviting should be prepared to pay for the whole thing.

Marcella1016 31

Saturday 27 June 2020 3:49

That’s what she said.

Nailah Butler 4

Saturday 27 June 2020 20:02

Because being gay is not just about sex. If she is asking for a date she is romantically interested and he is not. Even as a straight person no one has an obligation to go out just to make the other person feel good. It leads them on and waste time.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Sunday 28 June 2020 1:34

Why can't you be more like Drax, Nailah? Stop letting things go over your head. If you're not a fan of the MCU, try this one: r/woosh.

alex_jaguara 32

Saturday 27 June 2020 7:23

Wa she yelling "Please don't gay"?

ojoRojo 27

Saturday 27 June 2020 14:24

Well it’s pretty rude of you not to change your sexual orientation for her. (Jk she’s an idiot)

TorreyTurner 3

Saturday 27 June 2020 20:02

I wish I had your problems

Jillian Cosby-Kelly 15

Saturday 27 June 2020 20:15

these ******* people. there actually are men out there who would be happy to have her, yet she's throwing herself at someone who is unavailable.

Win 9

Sunday 28 June 2020 20:36

Here’s the thing. Even if you weren’t gay, you don’t need to say “yes”. No means no.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 272

You deserved it 3 976

Today, I called off my engagement because I fell in love with my best friend of 10 years since we recently reconnected. I confessed my feelings to her and asked her out. She rejected me and said she only sees me as a friend. Now I’m completely single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 073

The Top

Today, my mom once again cried that I never come to visit her. I’ve tried, but her house is just unbearable. It’s always no less than 80°F inside, and she also refuses to clean up. She just burns multiple candles and air fresheners all day to mask the smell. She refuses any cleaning help I offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 172

Today, while working as a swim instructor, I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting their faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked him why, he said "because you were singing." He's 3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 389

You deserved it 6 618

Today, after waking up to a spilled bottle of juice on my clothes, I heard my ex died. Whilst baking cookies to distract myself, I melted my work laptop on the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 305

Today, I got an email from my cousin to "save the date" for her baby shower. It's on my 21st birthday. This is the same cousin who got engaged on my 18th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 584

You deserved it 4 362

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 910

You deserved it 18 538

Today, while working in a dark nightclub, I dropped a red charger. Retracing my steps, I found it, or so I thought until I picked up a used tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 011

You deserved it 271