Intimacy: Oh no, oh God no

Oh no, oh God no

By hlev24 - 03/03/2009 16:20 - United States

Today, I was on my way home from a friend's house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know I was on my way. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 068

You deserved it 6 724

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Same thing different taste

By Evan Chong - 13/07/2011 14:48 - Canada

Today, I went to a concert with a friend of mine. When his dad came to pick him up, I walked towards the car, expecting a ride. His dad told me he didn't have time to drive me home. I'm his neighbour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 305

You deserved it 4 384

By car trouble - 14/10/2016 08:12 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my dad refused to pick me up because he didn't want to get off the couch, so I had to walk for an hour and a half to get home. When I finally got home, my dad had gone out to pick my sister up from her friend's house. Her friend lives a 3-minute walk away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 181

You deserved it 777

Bad mom

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 14:34 - United States

Today, my daughter's school called to inform me that I needed to bring her some sneakers. Not feeling like driving the 15 minutes to her school, I told them I was away from town. Then I realized I was on my house phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 674

You deserved it 71 366

By Anonymous - 22/12/2012 06:31

Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 111

You deserved it 11 342

Good one, thanks

By RYZILLAHitZ - 30/06/2011 01:32 - United States

Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 071

You deserved it 5 761

By cmd102 - 20/10/2011 21:18 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 439

You deserved it 3 366

By me. - 12/11/2012 04:30 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 126

You deserved it 1 727

Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine

By Anonymous - 03/04/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, as always, when my dad says he needs my help and that it will only take 15 minutes, it will actually take all day because he doesn't plan ahead. This has happened three times now, so this time I demanded he compensate me for my time if I have to drive out there. He called me an "entitled little shit" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 207

By mothtal - 03/06/2012 16:13 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 563

You deserved it 2 266

See ya!

By leftbehind - 27/02/2009 18:17 - United States

Today, my family was leaving for a weekend trip and was supposed to pick me up on the way down. About an hour before they are supposed to arrive, my mom calls to tell me that there's no room left in the car, so they won't be stopping to get me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 734

You deserved it 2 332

LittleMissMack 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 23:30

Parents have sex, it's not that big of a deal. And its better than "Today, I didn't call my parents to let them know I was coming home. I walked in and heard my dad f*cking my mom. FML."

ajscott 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 23:28

Look on the bright side. At least you didn't walk in on them having sex on the living room floor.

Comments

Amandaisdreaming 7

Saturday 23 May 2009 17:45

lets just hope they aren't in your room.

stclark81 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 23:32

1)Parents have sex. They're people, too. Get over it. 2)Better that you had the warning. 3)If I had a teenage kid who called to tell me he was on his way home, I might do that just to mess with him, even if my wife and I were just watching a movie or something.

MadeOfAwesome 1

Monday 13 July 2009 11:39

Lmao XD

KiSsKiZzy 0

Saturday 15 August 2009 23:32

well at least you called

railfan_fml 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 1:28

how is this an fml. it can only be one if you walked in on them. calling prevented an fml from occuring.

awesome576 0

Friday 15 January 2010 0:52

oh wow damn that must have SUCKED!!!!!!

yankeessuck977 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 6:33

lol,Massachusetts! yeah!

kevinwestonjonah 0

Friday 19 March 2010 6:31

i would rather eat shit than hear my dad say that...ugh

archieal 0

Saturday 17 April 2010 22:17

at least you didn't walk in on it.

aleekna 0

Sunday 18 April 2010 5:58

well it's not that she found out her parents are having sex. it's the fact that she called and her dad was breathing hard, and that she had called while they were doing it. it's like her walking in on them: shed be more dissapointed that she saw them instead of finding out that they are still "active" yea?