Love, Embarrassing and Awkward: Old dog, new tricks

Old dog, new tricks

By Anonymous - 06/09/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 916

You deserved it 47 001

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Same thing different taste

Dead giveaway

By Minabee - 04/02/2010 18:28 - United States

Today, I'm meeting my boyfriend's very conservative parents for the first time, so I decided to dress appropriately and curl my hair to match. In doing so, I accidentally touched my neck with the iron, and I now have a burn there that look a lot like a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 989

You deserved it 4 903

By tkrause - 01/04/2013 17:17 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 453

You deserved it 4 168

By Anonymous - 24/09/2012 19:09 - United States

Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 901

You deserved it 2 676

Purple rain, purple rain

By wtf?! - 30/05/2020 05:00

Today, out of boredom, I decided to dye my hair. I clumsily spilled some of the purple dye on my chest and shoulders. My insane mother is convinced the marks are hickeys I got from sneaking out and having sex with a boyfriend I don’t even have. She won’t listen, and I’m grounded for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 743

You deserved it 304

By Neckbruise101 - 15/10/2016 06:01 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss berated me in front of 2 other coworkers about how unprofessional it was for me to show up to work with a clearly visible hickey. I had to explain to him that my "hickey" was actually a huge pimple that had bruised up after I popped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 644

You deserved it 871

By sexxibxmami - 19/02/2010 18:24 - United States

Today, my mom came over to visit and permed my hair. Ten minutes after she started, I told her it was burning. She told me to suck it up because it doesn't hurt that badly. I now have scabs all over my scalp, hairline, and nape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 082

You deserved it 3 728

The truth will set you free

By Imnotfromhere - 29/08/2021 23:01

Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 1 036

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 475

You deserved it 9 612

By anonymous - 04/10/2017 20:51

Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 495

You deserved it 431

By Pierced - 30/05/2017 18:00

Today, my mother accused me of getting another lip piercing done on the sly to spite her. She finally realised I have more than one and won't believe I've always had two. Thanks for noticing, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 112

You deserved it 440

DeathByFalchion 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:34

Not THAT big of a deal if it happened to your mom too.

mhmmhmgood 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:34

haa, ive used that one too

Comments

pinkalicious224 7

Wednesday 26 September 2012 16:38

Like mother like daughter.

Isuckatthis 18

Wednesday 31 October 2012 9:40

Hickeys are gross...

xRezSynn 15

Saturday 26 January 2013 15:20

I don't even need to explain why YDI.

FlamingColor 30

Tuesday 12 February 2013 7:02

Excuses run in the family?

KingreX32 21

Tuesday 1 October 2013 20:59

she sounds cool. you're mother

bambam20 11

Tuesday 21 January 2014 3:01

It's good that she understands though

kristirhong 12

Friday 2 May 2014 8:50

Haha Aww, that's actually kinda cute.

LIVE2SUFFER 15

Wednesday 4 February 2015 11:25

Like mother like daughter. History repeats itself

TehButterz 8

Thursday 28 July 2016 9:19

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, am I right?

kevinsagirl2323 8

Tuesday 14 November 2017 22:10

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Keywords

Relatable Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Health Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games

The Top

Today, I finally got my paycheck from working at my minimum wage job for the last three months. I was delighted when I saw it was worth $846. On my way to cash it, I destroyed my car's suspension. It's going to cost almost $800 to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 981

You deserved it 6 718

Today, I really wanted to spend a night of passion with my lover, so I'd arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number, and waited for him in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it slowly and enticingly, assuming it was him. It was room service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 406

You deserved it 11 953

The Top

Today, my roommate was complaining about a headache, so I offered her some aspirin. She looked at me like I was stupid and said, "Uh... That stuff's only for heart attacks." I'm living with an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 222

You deserved it 545

Today, I got a letter from my old bank saying I owe them over 400 dollars. I closed the account 3 months ago, or at least I thought I did. The teller never finished closing it and I've been getting hammered with maintenance fees and overdrafts on an account I didn't even want anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 822

You deserved it 986

Today, I was working as a service writer in an auto service shop. A really cute girl came in to buy a headlight, I offered to install the bulb for her. My hand got stuck behind the headlight, she had to ask one of our mechanics to come remove the air box from her car to get my hand out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 858

You deserved it 10 491

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 034

You deserved it 5 432

Today, at the gym, a very attractive lady was working out in front of me, wearing tiny shorts that left zero to the imagination. I kept trying to avert my gaze, until her extremely buff boyfriend came over and threatened me. My crime? I wasn’t checking out his girl enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 152

Today, I realized that all the swirling techniques I learned in chemistry labs has helped me to swirl alcoholic ingredients properly in my drinks to get the best mixtures. Thanks university. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 383