Food, Injury and Miscellaneous: Ouch

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Ouch

By Anonymous - 13/01/2013 12:41 - United States

Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 435

You deserved it 5 202

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Same thing different taste

Hush hush

By Louis - 02/09/2024 09:00 - Australia

Today, I went to sneakily grab a snack without waking up my roommate. I was being extra quiet, tiptoeing like a ninja. I opened the fridge door slowly, but managed to knock over a stack of Tupperware boxes. The crash was so loud it could’ve woken the dead. My roommate appeared in the doorway, not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 238

Sorry guys, please don't hurt me

By Anonymous - 11/12/2024 09:00 - United States - Eugene

Today, I tried to sneak a snack from the kitchen without waking anyone up. In my stealthy quest for a late night sandwich, I managed to knock over a stack of pots of pans and woke up the entire frat house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 443

By BoomHeadshot - 02/05/2012 02:27 - Australia

Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 636

You deserved it 32 869

By Brian - 20/11/2012 15:50 - United States - Sandston

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 303

You deserved it 33 336

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 145

You deserved it 998

By Zack - 01/04/2012 21:36 - United States - Duncannon

Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 754

You deserved it 26 532

By HotCurry - 05/09/2009 04:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 180

You deserved it 3 537

Cereal killer

By Anonymous - 26/10/2013 18:40 - United Kingdom - Aberdeen

Today, I went to the kitchen to grab some cereal. I guess my mum didn't hear me, because as I entered, I heard her ranting to herself about her, "goddamn fucking Cheerios". I started to slowly back out, but I tripped over my own feet. She heard and yelled at me for "sneaking around". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 102

You deserved it 4 206

Skittish

By bronzemedal97 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 084

You deserved it 3 316

Caring

By Anonymous - 18/03/2020 08:09

Today, I was rummaging about in the pantry. When I turned to walk away, the heavy pantry door fell off, struck me in the back of the head, and the wood surrounding the doorknob cracked. When my mom came home, she accused me of "property damage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 532

You deserved it 130

misspulkadot24 17

Sunday 13 January 2013 19:34

This reminds me of when Spongebob pushed the sofa onto Squidward's foot. I always had to look away...not that I watch Spongebob...*bad poker face*

DocBastard 38

Sunday 13 January 2013 21:20

Hey, guess where the sensory nerves are? If you guessed the top layer of skin, you win the grand prize.

Comments

Maniac904 5

Monday 14 January 2013 6:42

oh I just cringed when I read this fyl op

Missanother 6

Monday 14 January 2013 6:53

Uhh, i just held my foot in horror. Im sorry op, hope it heals quick!

kyz_xox 11

Monday 14 January 2013 7:06

That's happened to me before

DAN_THA_GR8 12

Monday 14 January 2013 7:57

That must be painful !

LegendaryJacob7 7

Monday 14 January 2013 9:23

Walk it off ^_ ^

VScpu 3

Monday 14 January 2013 10:40

I noticed everytime I try to be quiet, everything I try to open creeks longer cuz the door/drawer is opening slower Or the floorboard or stairs.

Satoaoi 13

Monday 14 January 2013 11:47

lol that's what you get for having her over while parents are home.if you were alone your skin would of been in tact aha

B0u_fml 18

Monday 14 January 2013 11:56

Ah bloody hell

BananerzFresh 12

Monday 14 January 2013 15:24

I can feel the pain. Its like an awful burning feeling. -.•

Notyourrobot13 5

Monday 14 January 2013 15:24

I can imagine what it would have felt like now. That would hurt badly.

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You deserved it 136

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I agree, your life sucks 7 323

You deserved it 2 145

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I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 125

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I agree, your life sucks 23 404

You deserved it 60 021

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I agree, your life sucks 13 226

You deserved it 29 550

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I agree, your life sucks 40 734

You deserved it 10 344

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I agree, your life sucks 52 065

You deserved it 5 257