Animals: Ouch

Ouch

By Teylot - 28/06/2009 21:30 - Canada

Today, I was sitting at my desk eating cereal with my cat sleeping on my lap. I got a really funny text and I started laughing hysterically, and spilled my cereal all over my cat. I'll let you know how my legs, arms, neck and face heal up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 009

You deserved it 13 608

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Same thing different taste

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 22/01/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I'd finally got home from a 15-hour shift at work and wanted to lay down and eat. I poured myself a bowl of cereal, went to my room, and sat it on my bed. My dog then jumped right on my bed and yanked the sheets off, causing the cereal to fly everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 238

By crazycat - 13/05/2011 16:23 - Canada

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 622

You deserved it 5 848

The gift

By Anonymous - 15/12/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 171

By cereal stepper - 23/10/2016 09:42

Today, I got out of my bed and immediately stepped into a half-eaten bowl of cereal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 700

You deserved it 5 548

By Catremorse - 01/08/2019 14:00 - United States - Centreville

Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 370

You deserved it 575

Wake up Boo

By Megan Snair - 01/09/2019 04:01

Today, my cat threw up on the floor while I was taking a nap. I woke up, still groggy from the nap, and walked over to the bathroom. Not only did I slip on the vomit, spreading it all over the floor and myself, I think I somehow broke a toe in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 564

You deserved it 203

Rescue cat

By crazycatlady - 04/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 429

You deserved it 838

Stomach bug?

By Heather Scurfield - 21/03/2021 10:59

Today, I was going to be sick, so I ran to the bathroom. When I got there, I fainted, and fell back against the wall. When I came around, I immediately vomited all down my body, in my hair, and all over the floor. My cat judged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 139

Pure evil

By Anonymous - 07/10/2016 20:22 - Switzerland

Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 965

You deserved it 1 174

Phones are bad for you

By Katie - 14/05/2024 13:00 - United States - Basehor

Today, I was laying in bed, scrolling through my phone, when my cat swatted my phone out of my hand. It hit me in the face and popped a pimple, which is now bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 174

junkinmahcranium 0

Monday 29 June 2009 9:31

Be gentle with cats. You piss em off, you suffer. It's a way of life.

umbilicalbiotch 0

Monday 29 June 2009 9:58

Im sorry for your loss. Every bowl counts

Comments

djh1996 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 4:54

I don't get it....

jayjay777 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 6:38

Do you really not get it, the cat got angry and attacked him.

lifeisniiice 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 5:27

Ugghh... throw the cat outside to get it's own food and get a dog. A dog would lick up the mess at least.

Brett2873 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 5:54

I dont think i give a damn about the healing process of your stupidity inflicted cat scratch wounds

FarSide 22

Tuesday 30 June 2009 6:24

My cat will be on the China One Buffet the very night he claws me.

bob1124 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 6:39

No. Cats get pissed easily, and they're pointier. Dogs don't get as pissed, and they're only point in one spot.

lovelikewar 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 6:55

YDI for having a cat. dogs will almost never attack their owners.

lovelikewar 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 6:55

YDI for having a cat. dogs will almost never attack their owners.

Dinglenuts 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 7:06

Why were you eating cereal with your cat? That sounds like something my convicted sociopath great-aunt would pull.

DomyDamsy 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 8:15

@5 though i agree u can piss off a dog and i like my cat but, a dog is really hard to piss off

Shyman4ever 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 8:58

YDI for having a cat :P

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 313

You deserved it 157

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 580

You deserved it 5 576

The Top

Today, my new calculus teacher taught everything using nothing but soccer terms and analogies, just so the resident idiot meatheads would understand. I didn't learn a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 269

You deserved it 5 390

Today, my coworker told me when we got to work that she purposely left her phone at home. I then had to suffer 8 hours of listening to her constantly whine like a toddler about how much she missed her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 088

You deserved it 1 196

Today, I went to the Chick-fil-A drive through. Instead of asking me my name for my order, I was greeted by my name. I asked how he knew it, and he responded by saying he makes it a point to remember all the great customers' names. He added that I come there all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 984

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 657

You deserved it 196

Today, my parents actually kicked me into the back garden and made me sit outside for an hour so they could have sex without having to worry about me hearing them go at each other like a pair of 15-stone rabbits hopped up on Viagra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 418

Today, I got in an argument with my wife. I told her that I feel like she immediately disagrees with anything I say. She immediately disagreed and said she never does that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 921

You deserved it 716

Same thing different taste

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