Fresh air

By Anonymous - 21/05/2020 02:00

Today, my parents actually kicked me into the back garden and made me sit outside for an hour so they could have sex without having to worry about me hearing them go at each other like a pair of 15-stone rabbits hopped up on Viagra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 418

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Same thing different taste

By kill me - 30/09/2018 03:00

Today, my dad overheard me and my girlfriend having a very personal conversation. His response was to burst into the room and ground me for a month for failing to get her to orgasm the last 3 times we had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 927

You deserved it 2 430

Method acting

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:08 - United Kingdom - Frome

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 643

You deserved it 45 065

By Ladieda - 28/05/2012 10:15 - Netherlands - Apeldoorn

Today, my parents think it's so hot outside that it's okay for them to work in the garden naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 624

You deserved it 2 545

By cantunhear - 20/12/2014 03:16 - United States - Fishkill

Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 235

You deserved it 2 464

By GEE, THANKS DAD - 28/09/2012 22:21 - United States

Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 415

You deserved it 8 464

By Joel_mama - 27/07/2009 01:12 - New Zealand

Today, while driving home with my parents. I pretended to be asleep so mum wouldn't talk to me. They then took this time to describe what they were going to do to each other when they got home. In full detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 014

You deserved it 20 796

By :) - 29/05/2013 07:31 - United States

Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 683

You deserved it 4 086

Reminder

By Sigh - 13/09/2009 12:42 - Australia

Today, I went to visit my parents. Dad went on a religious tirade, and Mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told Mum to go to her room and pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 726

You deserved it 3 518

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 23:13 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 699

You deserved it 5 699

By weddingbells - 25/01/2010 01:02 - United States

Today, my parents had a huge fight because my mom found out my dad was cheating on her. They screamed for half an hour. Right in the middle of my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 997

You deserved it 2 517

Bogrbon 27

Thursday 21 May 2020 2:08

I mean, generally it’s better to come up with a pretext, rather than be direct about it. Our favorite is to send the kid to walk the dog for half an hour or so. (Without saying really why) Keeps both of them out of our hair, gets him away from a screen and some exercise, and makes the dog happy. Let your parents live a little.

Dale Gulley 8

Thursday 21 May 2020 13:51

Could be worse, they could be divorced...

Comments

Bogrbon 27

Thursday 21 May 2020 2:08

Seeya55 31

Thursday 21 May 2020 14:44

I feel bad as OP is probably a teen and can't go anywhere, but the parents are also ******* stuck at home with a teen who won't LEAVE even for a walk! I don't think the parents said why, but that OP surmised it was so they could do it. (And he/she probably heard them). Want to not get stuck in that kind of situation? Take regular walks for at least 30 minutes a day. You and your parents get exercise, and you don't have to hear them! Win win win!

Ambrily 27

Thursday 21 May 2020 21:50

Kinda hard to do if you live in one of the countries that got locked down for the pandemic.

Dale Gulley 8

Thursday 21 May 2020 13:51

Could be worse, they could be divorced...

Shzusuziq 16

Thursday 21 May 2020 14:48

So what? Do you think people stop having sex when they hit a certain age? Give them some privacy once in awhile.

Chris Cowperthwait 4

Thursday 21 May 2020 20:03

maybe you should leave the house more often?

guitarherogeek 22

Friday 22 May 2020 1:28

More of an fml for your parents that they can’t get laid in their own house 😱

Jillian Cosby-Kelly 15

Friday 22 May 2020 2:38

You are kidding, right? You're complaining that they wanted some alone time together? That they're still in love? That they understand a child will not die sitting outside for an hour? It's quarantine. You've all been stuck together a while, and it seems like it'll never end. They deserve to have some fun without worrying you'll hear it. Alternatively, WOULD YOU RATHER THEY JUST GO CRAZY AND NOT CARE WHAT YOU HEAR? That's what my parents did. You should have done something good with this opportunity, not whine and complain that your parents love and respect each other and you.

Hangryko 29

Friday 22 May 2020 8:34

YDI. Your parents love you, but their lives can't revolve around you forever. They need space once in a while to reconnect as a couple. It's not as if they kicked you out indefinitely and you're safe where you are, so give them a break.