Love: Overkill or fair? - FML

Overkill or fair?

By Pineapple does go on pizza - 24/08/2018 01:30

Today, I thought my boyfriend was kidding when he said he'd dump me if I actually ate pineapple on pizza. I ordered it. I ate it. I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 209

You deserved it 1 195

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Same thing different taste

By fatgirl - 16/05/2010 04:08 - United States

Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 009

You deserved it 10 732

Pizzagate

By Drama - 27/10/2024 15:00 - United States - Miami

Today, after I'd decided to give online dating another shot and I matched with someone who seemed interesting, during our actual date our conversation quickly devolved into a debate about whether pineapple belongs on pizza. I ended up blocking her after she sent me a thesis on the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 451

Enjoy!

By sad and hungry - 06/06/2015 14:37 - United States - Hackensack

Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 561

You deserved it 6 581

Prince Charming

By muskogee - 20/09/2019 16:00

Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 355

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 17:15 - Estonia

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 590

You deserved it 10 483

By imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck - 27/11/2012 01:41 - United States - San Mateo

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 587

You deserved it 3 435

Man meat

By Anonymous - 13/01/2022 14:01

Today, I discovered my boyfriend gets lunch every day at Burger King. I confronted him, and he broke up with me. Apparently, he only pretended to be vegan like me to get in my pants, and now the jig is up he dumped me so he can return to having meat at all three meals of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 1 807

Is this dude a puma?

By Anonymous - 04/04/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 1 522

Mindfullness

By Anonymous - 06/10/2010 07:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend, who held me and promised it'd be alright, and he'd never leave me. One sandwich later, he'd forgotten about the whole thing, and dumped me when I reminded him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 474

You deserved it 6 039

By therealkathl - 05/03/2015 13:32 - Austria

Today, my boyfriend convinced a girl at the club to break up with her boyfriend and go home with him. She did. Now I'm single too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 306

You deserved it 3 445

Next

Top comments

DetroitDov 35

Friday 24 August 2018 1:45

Wouldn't want to date someone who would break up over something like that anyway.

Notamusedanymore 17

Friday 24 August 2018 1:45

What a child.

Comments

real life problems 26

Friday 24 August 2018 7:26

Pineapple on pizza? That's worse than opening a bag of chips upside down.

Dr_Jackal 16

Friday 24 August 2018 7:57

Well what was he supposed to do?

tounces7 27

Friday 24 August 2018 8:10

Good riddance to a man-child.

zuckerburg 21

Friday 24 August 2018 8:39

Unfortunately, in my experience, when someone says something trivial will make them break up with you, they secretly want to break up with you but don't know how. You gave him his out. Now you can move on to someone that is SO in love with you that you melt into a puddle every time they touch your hand. Swipe that tinder!

Rsonicgamer 12

Friday 24 August 2018 9:54

"Someone SO in love with you they melt into a puddle [... ] . Swipe that Tinder !" Either that's a sarcasm with just a tad too much subtlety, or that's a very big unvoluntary oxymoron. Either way, it's funny !

nonameDE 11

Friday 24 August 2018 8:49

At least he warns you 😏😂

tr3yr 13

Friday 24 August 2018 9:02

He was looking for a way out before this. This just was the quickest and first reason he could get out with. Move on and find a REAL man.

chosha_fml 26

Friday 24 August 2018 15:19

Have a pizza place write IDIOT on a pizza in pineapple and have it delivered to his house.

dwight7476 11

Friday 24 August 2018 22:27

He did you a favor

interesting33 36

Saturday 25 August 2018 0:19

His reaction was ridiculous and you deserve way better! I am wondering though if he perhaps said it flippantly but then realised you were eating it and felt you wanted to break up with him as you were doing it? or felt unvalued or unappreciated as his threat was happily tested.Maubw he didn't realise you knew it was a joke? I just thinking out loud though, that is a ridiculous reason to break up with someone, which makes me think there's something more behind it.

Kristoffer 35

Saturday 25 August 2018 3:53

You're better off without him.

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The Top

Today, my sister was concerned that her daughter (my niece) was sick, and hesitant to take her to the ER. I asked if she'd eaten something she shouldn't have, and she replied, "No, especially since we feed her the most healthy food we can." This was fine until I flipped out when she said, "We even give her raw milk so that she'll be strong." FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 120

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 81

The Top

Today, a co-worker invited me to go out for lunch with him. I politely declined, saying I had too many errands to do. The truth is that I'm just too broke. I'll be buying myself a burrito using quarters I found on the floor of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 760

You deserved it 3 310

Today, I was mopping the floor at the hotel I work at. Before I could react, a gentleman stormed through the corridor and slipped and fell on the still wet floor. He complained to the owner, who bitched me out just to satisfy the guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 991

You deserved it 4 001

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 617

You deserved it 3 008

Today, while on a first date, I had to excuse myself to the restroom. I was still tired from pulling an all-nighter, and fell asleep on the toilet. When I woke up and rushed back out, my date was gone. Everyone now thinks I'm an arsehole who pulled the old "window escape" trick on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 816

You deserved it 13 874

Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 554

You deserved it 29 262

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman returned to the drive thru because her fries weren't hot enough. She was so angry about coming back that she threw her cold fries at me through the window and told me to "choke on them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 829

You deserved it 6 824