Health, Lockdown, Pandemic and Coronavirus: Panic! At the Costco

Panic! At the Costco

By abutorac951 - 16/03/2020 16:48

Today, I had to drive over an hour away to buy toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 698

You deserved it 192

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

The Good Grandson

By Anonymous - 15/03/2020 21:10

Today, I had to drive all the way across town to clean my grandfather's toilet for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 357

You deserved it 204

By phukt - 19/05/2010 18:42 - United States

Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper, I ran into my house to go to the bathroom. I then realized I'd left the toilet paper in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 176

You deserved it 30 567

Shit for brains

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 653

By Tp - 30/06/2010 00:39 - United States

Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 891

You deserved it 28 910

By ChangMu - 01/05/2013 06:40 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I had to go buy diaper rash cream. For myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 406

You deserved it 7 476

By davy0540 - 30/11/2014 06:09 - United States

Today, my wife and I drove two hours from our rural town to buy a new sofa. When we got home, it took us an hour to figure out there was no way to fit it through our door. We made the two hour drive back to return it, only to find the store was closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 045

You deserved it 9 860

We've all done it

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 04:00

Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall and the toilet paper had ran out. I had to use the socks I'd just bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 224

By Anonymous - 03/09/2013 19:50 - United States

Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 400

You deserved it 3 126

By Billz - 10/04/2019 00:00

Today, I was moving into my new apartment. I moved in a couple of bags and realized I really needed to poop. It’s been 10 minutes since I realized I hadn’t brought the toilet paper in yet. No one to bring me any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 806

You deserved it 466

By Anonymous - 05/11/2015 21:24 - United States - San Francisco

Today, the only reason I have toilet paper is because someone decided to teepee my driveway and left an entire roll behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 867

You deserved it 2 065

Aru Naddon 6

Monday 16 March 2020 22:20

Took me 3 days and 9 different stores to find some toilet paper.

limegreenpoopie 31

Monday 16 March 2020 17:01

That’s the reality now...stay safe.

Comments

limegreenpoopie 31

Monday 16 March 2020 17:01

That’s the reality now...stay safe.

newwitch2010 11

Monday 16 March 2020 19:16

You and everyone else dear.

Aru Naddon 6

Monday 16 March 2020 22:20

Took me 3 days and 9 different stores to find some toilet paper.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 16 March 2020 22:56

Sounds like we're all in a ... ...wait on it... ...shitty situation.0

Amanda G Rich 23

Tuesday 17 March 2020 3:53

quit with the SHITuation jokes already!

imgoingtohell 19

Tuesday 17 March 2020 3:23

Just get a bidet.

Mathalamus 24

Tuesday 17 March 2020 8:38

Yeah because it's real easy to get one, and use it properly, and it's very common in the western world"......

ThatOneLonelyAsian 31

Tuesday 17 March 2020 22:29

Best to wear a nappy then

ThatOneLonelyAsian 31

Tuesday 17 March 2020 22:30

Isn't there a corner shop near you? Indians have loads

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 22 March 2020 19:17

At least you've got some. I'm down to four rolls in the entire house and have been unable to get a square in two weeks.

Matthew Irmen 11

Monday 23 March 2020 14:09

Everybody is freaking out about toilet paper. Personally, I’d be using a wash cloth!

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 144

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 981

You deserved it 9 781

The Top

Today, I decided to come clean with my daughter about her adoptive status within my family. Just after I told her she was adopted, I realized that I have been telling her stories about me giving birth to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 250

You deserved it 62 577

Today, my girlfriend got evicted for having too many dogs. She expects me to let her and all 5 dogs live in my one-bedroom apartment. When I told her no, that I’d get evicted too, she said that should be a sacrifice I’m willing to make for “our family” if I really loved her. They aren’t even my dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 490

You deserved it 254

Today, after telling a friend I was contemplating asking a girl to prom, my friend took my phone, told me to have some balls, and texted the girl asking her to prom. She said no, because I asked her over text instead of in person. She refuses to believe I didn't send the text. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 654

You deserved it 1 934

Today, I excitedly waited to watch the finale and reunion of The Ultimatum on Netflix. It was the worst thing to ever happen to reality TV, which is really saying something considering all the shit out there. It was the only thing I was looking forward to in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 706

Today, I went to gather the laundry out of the dryer. My daughter had seen my wife put bleach in the washer, so she decided that honey in the dryer would make the clothes smell sweet. She wasn't wrong, but now I have a giant ball of sticky socks and underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 831

You deserved it 2 824

Today, my girlfriend of two months broke up with me because she said I remind her too much of her first boyfriend and it creeps her out. I've checked with all of her friends and family. I'm her first boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 829

You deserved it 3 276