Kids, Smoking and Fire: Pesky kids

Pesky kids

By no one - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Dallas

Today, my house caught on fire. The firefighters said that it was caused by a lit cigarette on the carpet. I don't smoke, but apparently my 13 year-old son does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 184

You deserved it 4 035

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Top comments

zombicidal 11

Friday 30 March 2012 0:19

And so does your house

TheAbdoKiller 2

Friday 30 March 2012 0:18

I'm a habitual smoker myself. Something about sucking long and hard on phallic objects really steams my clam, you know what I mean? Is that just me?

Comments

darthdeatheater 12

Thursday 21 January 2016 21:11

Take the repair money out of his college fund

Helmut Arias Rodriguez 21

Wednesday 5 December 2018 17:38

My dad was smoking at that age. He’s 43 now.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 11 December 2022 7:40

I think a good beating is warranted in this situation.

Keywords

Love Party Awkward Lonely ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Mental health Work Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Health Covid Kids Annoying Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Art Photography Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 374

You deserved it 1 986

Today, I met my boyfriend's family. He calls his parents things like “geriatric hag” and “old clown”. I was about to yell at him, but they started calling him “nancy boy” and “nerd”. Apparently they love each other, but only communicate through abuse. I can’t believe I may soon marry into this mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 615

You deserved it 1 291

The Top

Today, I had to remove my brother's pubic hairs from the bathtub before bathing my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 414

You deserved it 783

Today, I got a quick COVID test and got a positive result. Christmas is in 3 days, my son and husband have to stay with my mom and Christmas is my favorite holiday. I've never been away from them this long and it is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 1 455

Today, I had to drive through a parking lot that they fucked up so bad that you have to put your car in reverse to go around it. I have to go there 6 times a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 101

Today, I found out my class was attempting to raise money for me through a bake sale because some girl spread a false rumor that I was raped and that my father was going to disown me. The whole school believes it and my biology teacher took me aside and asked if I needed someone to confide in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 109

You deserved it 3 112

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 941

You deserved it 4 191

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 847

You deserved it 10 066