Intimacy: Please, no more!

Please, no more!

By Cyberella - 17/07/2009 05:36 - Australia

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 292

You deserved it 9 653

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

TMI great-grannie!

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 21:00

Today, at a big family wedding, my great nana shared quite loudly with us that most of the people in the pub wouldn’t exist if at 15 she hadn’t dumped her lying boyfriend, then made herself feel better by losing her virginity to an Italian waiter and accidentally becoming pregnant with my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 155

By Anonymous - 02/09/2019 04:00 - New Zealand - Invercargill

Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 809

You deserved it 164

Liquid fun

By Cat - 13/06/2010 14:36 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my Nana's birthday and to say she is having a good time is an understatement. She's so drunk, she took out her false teeth tried to put them in her dog's mouth. When she failed, she tried the cat's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 163

You deserved it 4 211

By sillymink - 20/08/2016 02:06 - United States

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 741

You deserved it 2 420

Unbelievable

By Anonymous - 08/12/2010 09:40 - United Kingdom

Today, at my wedding reception, I jokingly asked my aunt, who has always been convinced that I am gay despite my protests, if she believed me now. She took this the wrong way and drunkenly went around telling my guests that my wedding was a sham to convince her I was straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 451

You deserved it 5 305

By dynah114 - 27/01/2013 19:08 - Israel - Petah Tiqva

Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 348

You deserved it 2 482

By fuck you, gran - 09/03/2013 00:38 - United States - Ashland

Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 085

You deserved it 4 088

By Anonymous - 09/05/2015 20:50

Today, my drunk grandma flashed me, after confusing me, a 19 year old girl, for my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 913

You deserved it 2 355

By fuckoffgran - 01/08/2013 14:46 - Ireland

Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 503

You deserved it 5 708

By O0hdear - 27/08/2015 17:44 - United States - Humble

Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 544

You deserved it 32 613

MissyMayhem 0

Friday 17 July 2009 12:10

Naughty grandma!

Darth_Taco 14

Friday 17 July 2009 12:18

Well...at least you learned to not get her drunk again :D.

Comments

irrelevantxx 0

Friday 17 July 2009 16:38

BAHAHAHAH

peoc 0

Friday 17 July 2009 16:46

GILF!!!

justanotherhuman 21

Friday 17 July 2009 16:51

this is the kind of family gathering I live for. That, and prepositional endings. FYL, good one.

boybluee 0

Friday 17 July 2009 16:53

what a faker.

fml2102008 1

Friday 17 July 2009 17:00

Your grandma is hilarious!

Spl2iGGaN 0

Friday 17 July 2009 17:14

@Plexico. Fake orgasms are upsetting when you have sex with someone you care about and they deceive you. You sick immoral heartless excuse for a man. You're the reason us good guys have a hard time finding a girl willing to risk falling in love. They think all men are like you, wanting sex for no reason other than busting a nut.

plexico 3

Friday 17 July 2009 17:51

I never said that "busting a nut" was the only reason to have sex, but don't be a liar and say that it isn't ONE of the reasons to do so. You are not a "good guy" because girls are afraid to fall in love -- you are just a loser with lame excuses. Faking orgasms is like telling her you like that ugly sweater she gave you as a gift. It's a little white lie that keeps relationships running smoothly. If she is ALWAYS faking, you've got problems -- she's got the worse problem, though.

dolfan1993 0

Friday 17 July 2009 17:24

wow, lots of fake orgasms these days

sevenoh 0

Friday 17 July 2009 17:37

all these fake ****** stories make me glad to be gay... no fake orgasms going on in my bed.

plexico 3

Friday 17 July 2009 18:18

I'm straight, but I can fake an ****** when receiving a *******! The girl is so confused but I am an amazing actor!

dyingstart 0

Friday 17 July 2009 18:18

Silly nanna!

DameGreyWulf 0

Friday 17 July 2009 20:55

FYL for having to hear that. FherL for staying so long with a man who apparently doesn't please her. FhisL (your grandpa's) for staying so long with a woman who won't tell him he's doing it wrong. :c