Poopy

By pandaface - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, to wipe his crack, my boyfriend is still using a newspaper that I left there when he first started refusing to buy toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 225
You deserved it 5 918
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Top comments

mosquito19 14

your standard for boyfriend is way too low

42 1

Comments

fistnazal 10

Run out of toilet paper Find the sunday paper Wipe your ass with the President This is for them thugs Who done crack, but stopped Cause they saw first hand, what crack does This is for all the artists who know their work is just a drop in the ocean but do it anyway, hoping This is for everybody who carrys the world's weight But stands up straight Put a hand up, Try to relate

3 2
gusgus36 5

wow. it may be time to give in and finally just buy toilet paper. I feel your pain though. I hate when we are out of toilet paper and my boyfriend would probably someone just do without it forever rather than have to go buy it..

1 1
fistnazal 10

Gus Gus?! as in the obese mouse in Cinderella?? lol I love that little ******! "hey takeiteasy cluck cluck!"

2 1
lionheart822 13

umm sorry, normally I don't care about grammar but...what?

1 0
gusgus36 5

ok idk what autocorrect my phone was trying to do but "someone" shouldn't be there

0 0
prinzess_fml 25

you probably wanted "somehow". you're gorgeous, by the way.

0 0
gusgus36 5

20, yeah I think that was it. dumb phone lol. and thanks :)

0 0
lionheart822 13

oh okay I get it now. thanks 20. and yeah lol normally idm if something's wrong as long as I can understand it, but your's was a special case.

0 0
C_A_M_E_R_O_N 0

21 what time do u Want me to come over tonite?

0 1
lionheart822 13

okay I apologize if my replies show up repeated cause this stupid app isn't posting my comments even though it says "success!" lol. now as for #38, just because someone looks pretty, doesn't mean you get to be rude by saying they look "fake". almost everyone who has been on fml as long as she has can vouch for her. so please just be quite and cry in a corner cause you're probably just jealous.(see, generalizing can be hurtful)

0 0
Zmeilerr 22

#38, Normally I don't comment on people's looks, but I'm pretty sure that's not fake. She's had at least 5 or 6 different pictures of herself up, since I've seen her. Gus, you are very pretty.

0 0
Zmeilerr 22

#38, Normally I don't comment on people's looks, but I'm pretty sure that's not fake. She's had at least 5 or 6 different pictures of herself up, since I've seen her. Gus, you are very pretty.

0 0
newfiegirl 8

58, buy a dictionary ! and fake tan, fake blonde, fake. and that is all !

0 0
RedPillSucks 31

So in addition to being rediculously frugal, someone is going to pay a lot of money when the sewage backs up. Toilet paper is designed to disintegrate quickly. Newspaper is not and will clog up everything. Ask him to pay to Rotor Rooter bill.

7 1
Rainbow_dumpster 28

What #23 said. OP, dump his ass before he f*cks up your plumbing. Toilet paper is not that expensive. 1 roll costs like what...$.78 to $1.00? Srsly, dump his cheap ass.

1 0
monkeytherat 0

I didn't think the newspaper could get any crappier...

0 3
TripOnShoelaces 0

Was that a pun intended, I see?

0 0
DocBastard 38

So if he wipes his crack with newspaper, what does he wipe his heroin and meth with?

5 0
rachii 0

It'd be better if he could use his actual face, rather than a shitty poster.

0 2
ILoveEggnog 7

I guess his ridiculous hair would be good for that.

0 1
rachii 0

Of course. And maybe then he'd suffocate and die. Yay.

0 2