Embarrassing, Poopoo peepee, Trains and Love: Powerful

Powerful

By Noguestlist - 02/03/2011 08:16

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 570

You deserved it 9 953

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Same thing different taste

By kstaa - 10/02/2010 11:47 - Australia

Today, I was sitting on the train wondering what that putrid smell was. As I got off the train I realized there was vomit all over the back of my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 173

You deserved it 4 539

NYC public transport

By Anonymous - 04/12/2020 17:02 - United States - New York

Today, there was a pretty girl sitting near me on the train home. I thought about asking for her number., but instead a drunk nitwit decided to wander around the car and came very close to touching her. She got up and moved to the other end, while I had to deal with a belligerent hobo who was now intent on fighting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 184

By fr1day - 21/01/2009 07:25 - Australia

Today, it's my birthday but I had to go to work. I catch the train and I am forced to sit next to this weird smelly dude who jumps off one stop before mine. A little old lady jumps on so I shuffle over so she can sit down with ease. Upon exiting the train i notice my pants are wet with smelly dude's piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 057

You deserved it 2 343

By WhatsThatSmell - 25/02/2011 13:25 - Australia

Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 842

You deserved it 4 522

By FailedTraveller - 04/07/2018 15:00

Today, I took a long distance train across country. Early on I had an urgent need to use the bathroom. As I went to flush away the nasty, the preflush water violently projected my diarrhoea onto my pants before clearing the rest down the gurgler. I have 8 hours left on the train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 653

You deserved it 357

By DonMare - 22/04/2009 07:48 - Australia

Today, as I caught the train home, a woman got on and sat on the only available seat next to me. We got talking and as the train approached the next station, she said that this was her stop and she had to go. She exited the train and I turn to see her enter the compartment behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 638

You deserved it 7 679

Stuck

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I was on train when an attractive girl got on. There were no free seats and seeing as how my stop was next, I gave her mine. As soon as I did, the train came to an immediate halt, due to "brake problems". I spent the next 40 minutes standing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 185

You deserved it 13 105

By Anonymous - 10/02/2011 23:32 - United States

Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 150

You deserved it 4 798

Ralph and Huey

By wookieewhosshe - 12/06/2022 15:00 - United Kingdom - Dalkeith

Today, I was on a train when I felt the unsettling urge to vomit. I ran to the toilet, but there was someone in there, with another waiting in the corridor. Out of time, and luck, I projectile-vomited into a bin built into the wall. The man waiting for the toilet looked truly traumatised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 88

By Emmy - 02/10/2011 06:36 - United States

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 374

You deserved it 3 363

Geoffrx7 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 16:06

maybe she's into scat ****

domosumo 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 16:07

Must've been one long train ride for you.

Comments

chrstygrl06 10

Wednesday 2 March 2011 22:25

Everyone poops. If she was genuinely interested then she'll give you another change:)

chrstygrl06 10

Wednesday 2 March 2011 22:27

chance*

sicofthsht 1

Wednesday 2 March 2011 23:15

Haha. Maybe she posted her own FML. Now that would really suck. Oh, and stop eating those TB barritos. LOL

ravenxcorvinus 9

Wednesday 2 March 2011 23:17

sounds like one of those "i-should've-done-a-courtesy-flush-and-wishes-i-had-a-book-of-matches" thing lolz

gasbandit 2

Thursday 3 March 2011 0:14

LIKE A BOSS

m0nk11 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 2:38

Yeah shit slap her like a boss.

Fluffy_homan 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 4:15

us south Africans don't even bother with trains anyway...

1_Classy_Hobo 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 4:24

lol. "hey... ummm... I left a surprise for you!" :D

Renee_Margaret 2

Thursday 3 March 2011 4:28

everyone chokes the ducks every now and then! it's part of life.

bsgirls 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 5:07

Ok listen up kids. You boys need to stop with these sexist jokes. No one finds you funny and I will report you.

bls5301 2

Monday 7 March 2011 11:53

hahahahahahahhahahahahhaha someone needs to relax a little bit. oh noooo report me? i'll just make another profile. now go back to the kitchen

MrFlintstone 5

Thursday 3 March 2011 5:26

I fell bad for op cause he used a public restroom

Keywords

Relatable Shoes Clothes Miscellaneous Transportation Insurance Cars Work Health Cheating Love Food Clumsy Awkward Embarrassing Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Cute Dogs Pranks Ironic Shopping Texting Mistakes Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, my friend got a babysitter for the kids and told me she was taking me to a party. My son told me his band was playing at a party. I will be 40 tomorrow, so I thought this would be the best surprise birthday party ever. It WAS a surprise birthday party – for a friend of ours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 090

You deserved it 3 533

Today, I had to pick up my brother and his girlfriend from the bar at 2:00am because they were too drunk to drive themselves and had no money for an Uber. Five minutes into the ride, they started going at it in the back of my car. I don't think I'll be doing favors again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 679

You deserved it 536

The Top

Today, I had to explain to my 20 year-old daughter why she can’t leave her infant son at the house on her own, while she goes out partying until 2 a.m. Her response was, “What? I’m supposed to miss the party to watch his ass?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 524

You deserved it 347

Today, I had to send out yet another email reminding families that everyone must be fully dressed while in view of the screen. This includes the student, any other children and the adults in the home. I teach first grade. It’s almost a weekly occurrence to have to send these. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 368

You deserved it 153

Today, our dishwasher broke. It's my husband's chore to do the dishes, but he refused to hand-wash them, and instead suggested we take them all up to his mother's for her to put in her dishwasher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 237

Today, it's my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 983

You deserved it 2 901

Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 685

You deserved it 2 767

Today, I've been single for years because I felt I could never trust anyone again. I finally opened up to someone, after she told me how much she'd loved me for quite a while. Now she ignores me like I don't even exist. Crash and burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 138