Embarrassing, Poopoo peepee, Trains and Love: Powerful

Powerful

By Noguestlist - 02/03/2011 08:16

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 570

You deserved it 9 953

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By kstaa - 10/02/2010 11:47 - Australia

Today, I was sitting on the train wondering what that putrid smell was. As I got off the train I realized there was vomit all over the back of my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 173

You deserved it 4 539

NYC public transport

By Anonymous - 04/12/2020 17:02 - United States - New York

Today, there was a pretty girl sitting near me on the train home. I thought about asking for her number., but instead a drunk nitwit decided to wander around the car and came very close to touching her. She got up and moved to the other end, while I had to deal with a belligerent hobo who was now intent on fighting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 184

By fr1day - 21/01/2009 07:25 - Australia

Today, it's my birthday but I had to go to work. I catch the train and I am forced to sit next to this weird smelly dude who jumps off one stop before mine. A little old lady jumps on so I shuffle over so she can sit down with ease. Upon exiting the train i notice my pants are wet with smelly dude's piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 057

You deserved it 2 343

By WhatsThatSmell - 25/02/2011 13:25 - Australia

Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 842

You deserved it 4 522

By FailedTraveller - 04/07/2018 15:00

Today, I took a long distance train across country. Early on I had an urgent need to use the bathroom. As I went to flush away the nasty, the preflush water violently projected my diarrhoea onto my pants before clearing the rest down the gurgler. I have 8 hours left on the train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 653

You deserved it 357

By DonMare - 22/04/2009 07:48 - Australia

Today, as I caught the train home, a woman got on and sat on the only available seat next to me. We got talking and as the train approached the next station, she said that this was her stop and she had to go. She exited the train and I turn to see her enter the compartment behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 638

You deserved it 7 679

Stuck

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I was on train when an attractive girl got on. There were no free seats and seeing as how my stop was next, I gave her mine. As soon as I did, the train came to an immediate halt, due to "brake problems". I spent the next 40 minutes standing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 185

You deserved it 13 105

By Anonymous - 10/02/2011 23:32 - United States

Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 150

You deserved it 4 798

Ralph and Huey

By wookieewhosshe - 12/06/2022 15:00 - United Kingdom - Dalkeith

Today, I was on a train when I felt the unsettling urge to vomit. I ran to the toilet, but there was someone in there, with another waiting in the corridor. Out of time, and luck, I projectile-vomited into a bin built into the wall. The man waiting for the toilet looked truly traumatised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 88

By Emmy - 02/10/2011 06:36 - United States

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 374

You deserved it 3 363

Geoffrx7 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 16:06

maybe she's into scat ****

domosumo 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 16:07

Must've been one long train ride for you.

Comments

dansco 24

Thursday 3 March 2011 6:22

Wow rookie mistake! If you are gonna take a dump on a train and someone has given you their number, ffs use the toilet in another carriage!!! ;)

j_cat187 19

Thursday 3 March 2011 7:19

yid for having disentary

leahlolitaa 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 8:14

god you're an idiot.

nbk1405 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 9:39

haha yay some south Africans ... lol... only we use bru... haha yah that's a shit one about the chick!! BFL!

nbk1405 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 9:41

rofl

labanana_fml 5

Thursday 3 March 2011 16:24

hahahahaha , what where you eating?? fyl hah

xBGCx 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 22:53

lmao!!!

XxICEW0LFxX 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 6:31

tmi, dude...

anonymous595 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 20:46

be the *** I smell ya from hereo_O. bleh ya dirty basterd

gotboobs 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 22:55

to make it up to her you should have ****** her.

Xxgreenbug29xX 5

Monday 18 July 2011 2:10

Haha, i'm sorry but that's funny. FYL.

Keywords

Shoes Miscellaneous Clothes Relatable Transportation Cars Insurance Work Health Love Cheating Food Awkward Clumsy Embarrassing Animals First Dates Dating Bikes Cute Dogs Ironic Pranks Shopping Mistakes Texting Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 579

You deserved it 44 862

Today, I was working my job checking people in at the gym. A sweaty, chubby woman came up to me complaining about how our staff seems so fit. I replied, "We like to hire people who have bodies that motivate our clients!" She gave a blank stare, then said, "So how did you get the job?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 926

You deserved it 15 103

The Top

Today, my school announced plans to do a Memorial Day event near the end of the year, where students can invite people they know who are war veterans. Everyone wants me to invite my uncle, since he's pretty well-known around here. I don't have the heart to tell them he has terminal cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 71

Today, stress makes my ADHD skyrocket. I lost focus while rubbing one out and didn’t realize I forgot to finish while I was doing the dishes. When I went to my room to try to get the job done, I lost focus again and ended up doing laundry. Not exactly the load I had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 463

Today, I received the contract for the new job I'm supposed to start in two weeks. It says I need an official document from the public health department, which I have to present on the first day on the job. The first available appointment to get said document is in four weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 109

Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 373

You deserved it 13 082

Today, I told my friend that my new neighbor's name is Sandra and "that's pretty much all I know." She responded with, "You're right, Sandra is a pretty name." FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 141

Today, as I was instructing our new third grade students about how our martial arts classes are safer than people think, someone broke their leg right in front of their innocent faces. They saw the bone sticking out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 385

You deserved it 1 073