Drunk, Smells and Work: Protip: Don't

Protip: Don't

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I tried using hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 142

You deserved it 25 139

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Broke boy

By LemonTree - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Hungary

Today, I realized that I'd run out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 377

You deserved it 7 175

By oopsididitagain - 30/11/2010 18:49 - United States

Today, at the coffee shop where I work, my supervisor smelled "something weird, like sulfur." I spent the next ten minutes pretending to look for the source of the smell with her, rather than admit that it had come from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 978

You deserved it 30 240

By sdk2010 - 06/03/2012 17:05 - Canada

Today, I was fired from my job. My boss claimed it was because I smelled like alcohol, never mind the fact that my job was brewmaster at a beer company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 486

You deserved it 2 265

Whiffy

By Uber Chad - 25/03/2023 10:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was in a rush to get to work and forgot to put on deodorant. I didn't realize until my coworker told me I smelled like a gym sock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 365

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 04:04

Today, while at work, I was trying to locate the source of the really bad BO wafting around, when I realized I'd forgotten to put on deodorant this morning. I have 5 hours of shame left to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 346

You deserved it 866

By Anonymous - 09/07/2019 18:00

Today, my stress sweat overpowered my prescription strength deodorant 45 minutes into an 8-hour shift. I don't know who is more miserable, me or my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 876

You deserved it 195

Receptacle

By Anonymous - 08/02/2021 02:01

Today, I felt sick at work and tried to run to the bathroom with my hand covering my mouth, but saw a garbage can and removed my hand to let it loose. I forgot to remove my mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 241

By Drunk - 13/09/2010 23:40 - United States

Today, for the first time, I decided to just be myself at work. My boss thought I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 189

You deserved it 6 426

Hot and heavy

By k…… - 10/04/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, it’s extremely hot, so showering and deodorant does fuck all for my odor. I thought I could get away with having my arms pressed to my sides at all times, but instead, a boy I don’t even know physically lifted my arms above my head and loudly declared that I stank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 117

By tukker - 17/07/2009 23:14 - Canada

Today, my brother replaced my cologne with whiskey. I have a job interview and I smell like a drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 844

You deserved it 4 413

glittercookies 12

Saturday 8 September 2012 21:57

Go to the bathroom. Take off your shirt. Wash under your arms with the hand soap.

griffins33 4

Saturday 8 September 2012 21:56

Deodorant maybe?

Comments

BloodandIce 11

Thursday 1 November 2012 23:25

Well if I ever happen to be caught in that situation and am without deodorant, thank you for letting me know what not to do.

Nolonger 11

Wednesday 28 August 2013 0:11

Tell your boss that on your way to work someone was drinking and spilled alcohol on you as they stumbled past.

LifeTrolls 16

Thursday 10 December 2015 16:42

just say you spilled a bottle of rubbing alcohol/ hand sanitizer.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Weird Work Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Gamers

The Top

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 433

You deserved it 21 177

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 189

You deserved it 11 246

The Top

Today, while working in childcare, we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey", the kids lost their shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 296

You deserved it 3 295

Today, I found out a recent hook-up, who’d pounded the fuck out of me until I came all over didn’t get uncomfortable and ghost me “because he was just a fuck boy.” It was probably because a noticeable, large part of the sweat/squirt spot on my bed after, was actually my own piss, I just didn’t smell it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 195

You deserved it 1 316

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 677

You deserved it 16 219

Today, I got an eviction notice. I confronted my roommate, who’s supposed to be covering rent with the half I give her. She said, “Uhhh, about that.. I got Lady Gaga orchestra seat tickets, do you mind covering rent for a while and I’ll pay you back?” She makes three times my income and I can’t afford rent by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 140

Today, I got guilt-tripped into going to eat with my parents and sister. My sister bit into a spicy pepper instead of a mild one, and thought the perfect response would be to shriek, moan, cry, and throw herself to the floor gagging. No she’s not allergic, she’s just a drama queen fishing for a free meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 128

Today, I proposed to a girl I'd been in love with for 6 years. I filled the balcony of the building where I'd first laid eyes on her with innumerable roses and, under the starlit sky, I did it. She later posted on facebook 'OMG. This geek I knew from high school did the FUNNIEST thing today'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 832

You deserved it 33 163