Animals: React content

React content

By fmlfmlfml - 02/06/2009 18:03 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 960

You deserved it 252 003

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By badmom101 - 16/05/2009 11:26 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 690

You deserved it 6 400

Spooked

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 253

By bodhimae - 03/05/2009 07:15 - France

Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 095

You deserved it 2 376

By Mom2grls808 - 19/12/2018 20:00 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap with my 5 month-old on the (carpeted) floor in the living room. When I woke up, my daughter had bombed her diaper, and her and the dogs were rolling in it on the carpet and tiled kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 192

You deserved it 517

By Anonymous - 15/12/2012 15:55 - United States - Amsterdam

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 002

You deserved it 2 498

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 562

You deserved it 3 442

By Uh oh.... - 05/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 2 811

By time to buy a gun - 02/11/2015 04:22 - United States - Carolina

Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 033

You deserved it 1 698

Merry Xmas

By Christmas sucks - 24/12/2012 01:03 - United States - Boston

Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 879

You deserved it 4 769

Surprise, human!

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 100

truslide 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:02

LMAO must have been a hard kick to do that and even then, why the hell would you kick a cat that hard?

uhmfml 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:02

I don't think your child will be crawling in your bed anymore for a while... if ever.

Comments

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Monday 3 October 2011 5:18

OMG there are so many things wrong here. First, you assumed your daughter was a cat, so that supposedly justified your kicking it. Second, your daughter should weigh a lot more than a cat, so you should've been able to tell the difference. And third, you kicked her into a wall? Wow...you need your head examined...

bladomas 2

Sunday 9 October 2011 15:38

omg

satph 12

Saturday 15 October 2011 12:27

OMG isn't it bad enough to kick your cat? do you really need all that force so that they crash into a wall?!

starburst7596 14

Sunday 16 October 2011 10:52

This is the only fml I've ever actually laughed at.....

ShibbyLibby 1

Sunday 16 October 2011 21:34

Okay, first of all, why the HELL would you even kick your cat just because they crawled onto the bed?! And especially with enough force to kick your own daughter, who obviously weighs more than a cat, into a wall? You deserved it, your mind is seriously twisted and ****** up. Get help.

ShibbyLibby 1

Sunday 16 October 2011 21:38

And one more thing: "Today, I came into Mommy's bed because I was scared as there was a thunderstorm outside, but Mommy kicked me out of her bed and made me crash into a wall. I am hurt badly, FML." Nice parenting there.

random1368 0

Sunday 6 November 2011 11:46

How could you not tell the diffrence between your cat and your daughters weight. The gave seems obvious enough and why would you kick her so hard. Poor kid.