Animals: React content

React content

By fmlfmlfml - 02/06/2009 18:03 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 960

You deserved it 252 003

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By badmom101 - 16/05/2009 11:26 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 690

You deserved it 6 400

Spooked

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 253

By bodhimae - 03/05/2009 07:15 - France

Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 095

You deserved it 2 376

By Mom2grls808 - 19/12/2018 20:00 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap with my 5 month-old on the (carpeted) floor in the living room. When I woke up, my daughter had bombed her diaper, and her and the dogs were rolling in it on the carpet and tiled kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 192

You deserved it 517

By Anonymous - 15/12/2012 15:55 - United States - Amsterdam

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 002

You deserved it 2 498

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 562

You deserved it 3 442

By Uh oh.... - 05/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 2 811

By time to buy a gun - 02/11/2015 04:22 - United States - Carolina

Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 033

You deserved it 1 698

Merry Xmas

By Christmas sucks - 24/12/2012 01:03 - United States - Boston

Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 879

You deserved it 4 769

Surprise, human!

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 100

truslide 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:02

LMAO must have been a hard kick to do that and even then, why the hell would you kick a cat that hard?

uhmfml 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:02

I don't think your child will be crawling in your bed anymore for a while... if ever.

Comments

gymnasty2233 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 5:04

Really 397 all cats don't land on their get and why kick them you just have to pick them up not kick them so hard they hit the wall. And why can't the cats be on the bed. Thy just want to cuddle.

IllegalLight 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 5:05

You deserve a good kick yourself...

blowup_dollie 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 5:06

Eh, this happened to me when I was 6 and we don't have pets. My mom thought I was my dad being an asshole. Not long term damage, and it makes a funny story. Kid's probably got a few bruises, boo-*******-hoo. I'm sure she will live. BTW, FYL and LOL!

gymnasty2233 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 5:06

#404. That's nasty animal killer. I would like to kick you. Dumb~ass.

Weil 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 5:07

This is the funniest thing I've read all day. lol.

THE_TRUTH_HURTS 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 5:08

EVERYONE NEEDS TO CHILL!!! A baby got kicked off the bed... so what? innocent mistake. huahahaha funny as hell, plus, im sure most the people posting have similar stories their parents ain't telling. Its perfectly normal to kick a cat off a bed, dates back to before prostitution was invented. Cats take up space, sleep on top of you, and get in the way of you and your Gf when you are trying to get some. **** cats, you should have aimed it towards the window.... Then again it was a baby, still worth it though =P

hawkloverr 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 5:08

why do you abuse your cats?

BaldOuting 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 5:08

haha #418 - i agree (assuming the kid is ok)

wowyoufail 2

Wednesday 3 June 2009 5:08

you ass, why do you treat animals like that? You were just kicking your cat off the bed so hard that a baby weighing like four times that amount would hit the wall??? The cat would like die you stupid ****. Frosty headed chode