Animals: React content

React content

By fmlfmlfml - 02/06/2009 18:03 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 960

You deserved it 252 003

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By badmom101 - 16/05/2009 11:26 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 690

You deserved it 6 400

Spooked

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 253

By bodhimae - 03/05/2009 07:15 - France

Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 095

You deserved it 2 376

By Mom2grls808 - 19/12/2018 20:00 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap with my 5 month-old on the (carpeted) floor in the living room. When I woke up, my daughter had bombed her diaper, and her and the dogs were rolling in it on the carpet and tiled kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 192

You deserved it 517

By Anonymous - 15/12/2012 15:55 - United States - Amsterdam

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 002

You deserved it 2 498

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 562

You deserved it 3 442

By Uh oh.... - 05/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 2 811

By time to buy a gun - 02/11/2015 04:22 - United States - Carolina

Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 033

You deserved it 1 698

Merry Xmas

By Christmas sucks - 24/12/2012 01:03 - United States - Boston

Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 879

You deserved it 4 769

Surprise, human!

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 100

truslide 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:02

LMAO must have been a hard kick to do that and even then, why the hell would you kick a cat that hard?

uhmfml 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:02

I don't think your child will be crawling in your bed anymore for a while... if ever.

Comments

ErikaBaby 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:21

I hope she finds out about this when she is older and wonders why she has difficulty in school, ****

bea239 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:21

Don't worry, in my sleep I kick the crap out of my cats too. They keep coming back for more apparently.

BoomSwaggaBoom 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:21

If you have a two year old child...why are you taking a nap?

nityasomaiya 46

Monday 18 May 2015 15:23

There could have been other adults in the house supervising.

Claymason 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:21

Oh god! I can't stop laughing. That's hilarious! Did she go splat?

keveric85 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:21

ydi but it's kinda funny

setpratwet 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:22

OMG! Is your daughter alright now? You should be careful from now and never ever try to kick your pet.....

JessTrek 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:22

HAHAHAHAH. Come on people, we have no idea how far away the bed was from the wall, where the kid was exactly in relation to the OP, etc. I've kicked my cat out of my bed before, but it wasn't a hard kick its just the only way to describe it. My cat doesn't seem to care. Honest mistake.

Shanny_fml 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:23

why were you taking nap, you should have been supervising her anyway with h being two. And why would you even consider kicking your cat. ydi

mandy307 0

Friday 18 March 2011 0:01

BTW....Why the HELL are you taking a nap in the middle of the day instead of watching your 2 year old. Not only should you NOT be sleeping you should not be sleeping hard enough to make a mistake like that... So what if your kid gets hurt, (consequentially not by you this time) you going to sleep through that too? Obviously the thunder and lightning storm didn't wake you up... Poor excuse for a parent

modifiedchick 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:23

why the hell would you be kicking what you thought was your cat, with enough force to throw a child off the bed? YDI for being a cruel person to your pets

poprockxmassacre 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:23

Guys. I honestly doubt in her /sleep/ she was going "HMM. AHH, YES, I KNOW THE PRECISE WEIGHT OF THIS VERSUS A CAT. PERHAPS I SHOULD ANALYZE IT FARTHER BEFORE HAVING A KNEE-JERK REACTION." People do really dumb things in their sleep, because, y'know. The whole being asleep thing. Also, you never know. Their bed could be really close to the wall - why automatically assume that the wall was feet away? I doubt they powerfully send their cats kicking - seeing as my cats climb on my face at night, I usually nudge them off my bed at night, via my foot. Yeesh, people assume way too much.