Reality is weirder than fiction

By Broken Arm - 06/12/2020 14:01

Today, I found out that while it is unlikely you'll break your arm by catching it in the door, it is perfectly possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 82

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/01/2012 16:45 - United States

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 002

You deserved it 32 366

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 21:26 - New Zealand

Today, I found out how it feels to have a car door slammed shut on my hand, breaking two of my fingers. Hint: it's fucking painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 171

You deserved it 2 039

By BudmaudeY - 31/03/2011 20:53 - Sweden

Today, I noticed that the injury on my hand from three weeks ago no longer hurt. A while later, I accidentally slammed that same hand in a door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 430

You deserved it 15 826

Ouch!

By Anonymous - 11/11/2021 02:00

Today, my son tripped into a door and slammed it shut. I'd been holding onto the door frame, leaning around to talk to a neighbour, so of course it slammed my fingers. It must be a really sharp door, because I just woke from the surgery to reattach my three amputated fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 129

By bossgroper - 23/07/2009 20:23 - United States

Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 936

You deserved it 5 523

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 308

Romantic fool

By Idiot - 22/08/2009 18:44 - United States

Today, while watching a movie with my girlfriend, I had to go to the bathroom. As I returned, I thought it would be cute to jump over the side of the couch and land next to her. I accidentally landed on her arm and broke her wrist. It wasn't as cute as I expected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 829

You deserved it 38 837

How on Earth…?

By Ouch - 14/10/2024 05:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I cut my finger trying to open a door. Yes, I am just as confused as you are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 70

Stuck

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 352

You deserved it 5 251

By poop - 18/05/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 629

You deserved it 19 524

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BurnInDemonFire 34

Tuesday 8 December 2020 7:45

How hard did that door slam on your arm?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here" from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 994

You deserved it 8 123

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 22

The Top

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 400

You deserved it 31 966

Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 603

You deserved it 2 833

Today, I went down on my partner to the point where she suffered a TIA (transient ischemic attack) and lost consciousness temporarily. It seemed like she'd had a stroke, so I ended up having to call an ambulance, and she gets to spend two days in hospital because I apparently give excellent oral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 285

You deserved it 331

Today, I thought I was finally connecting with my new kitten when she was looking at me closely and letting me pet her. The moment was quickly ruined by her sinking a claw into my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 424

You deserved it 556

Today, I was giving a presentation to a group of high school kids about how being 'cool' wasn't as important as they might think. When I was done I asked for questions. A kid says, "Miss, I get that you're not into being cool, but you're wearing your pants inside out." He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 128

You deserved it 25 520

Today, I asked my husband if it was a good time to think about having kids. His response was, "ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NEVER." I’ve always wanted to be a mom and he knows that. I feel like I’ve wasted my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 540

You deserved it 612