Health and Cute: Rhythm method

Rhythm method

By booty backfire - 01/05/2014 17:31 - United States

Today, I hurt my back, and now I have to lie on my stomach for twenty minutes every hour so I can ice the pain. My boyfriend won't stop using my ass as bongo drums every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 996

You deserved it 7 746

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/09/2010 20:07 - Canada

Today, my dad hurt his back. He went to a physical therapist who gave him some exercises to do. I have to watch him lie on his back and air hump while groaning every hour on the hour for the next two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 349

You deserved it 4 597

By guyssuck - 26/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Yellowknife

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 235

You deserved it 4 728

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 18:30

Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 255

You deserved it 394

Pain in the ass

By Anonymous - 17/06/2021 22:01 - United States - Greenville

Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 127

By Kftc88 - 11/01/2013 08:03 - United States - Pomona

Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 199

You deserved it 2 932

By anonymous - 23/04/2013 21:07 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 421

You deserved it 5 517

By Anonymous - 11/04/2017 22:00

Today, I got so angry at losing in FIFA, I punched a hole in my wall and strained my back and neck doing it. Now I have to lie down on my back because it's too painful to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 743

You deserved it 9 106

By usmcpain - 23/06/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, I couldn't sleep and in the process of tossing and turning I did something very painful to my back. I spent 4 years in the marine corps infantry, but laying in a bed kicks my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 943

You deserved it 5 065

It's the thought that counts

By Cracky - 27/11/2012 14:32 - United States - Baltimore

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 567

You deserved it 2 013

Flying high

By jkim - 08/09/2014 17:56 - United States - San Diego

Today, my husband injured his back badly. He's taken three Percocets, because according to him, he knows the dosage better than his doctor, and is demanding that I let him drive himself to work, with no pants on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 809

You deserved it 3 956

Not_Impressed13 9

Thursday 1 May 2014 23:02

"I just wanna bang on my drum all day!"

95DeVille 13

Thursday 1 May 2014 23:03

He just appreciates your assets.

Comments

shujaswati 20

Friday 2 May 2014 17:14

u must got a bumpy bumps :d

kissandcontrol01 20

Friday 2 May 2014 20:29

If you really hurt your back laying on your stomach is going to make it worse! Try sitting in a chair or upright on the couch OP

squarecircles 13

Friday 2 May 2014 21:18

Tell him you have diarrhea.

rachangie 19

Friday 2 May 2014 22:28

The best thing to do is talk to him about it. He's probably trying to lighten the mood and make you laugh, he may not realize that it's hurting you.

Rainbow_dumpster 28

Friday 2 May 2014 22:50

That's cute. FYL.

mybubbles2000 13

Friday 2 May 2014 23:12

At least you have a good man that actually pays attention to your butt.

Headcrab 29

Saturday 3 May 2014 2:26

Doesn't really sound like a band, more like an adult website.

incoherentrmblr 21

Saturday 3 May 2014 4:53

Actually, it is. It's called Azz Overload...

BlackJusticeJr 2

Saturday 3 May 2014 6:00

I'm that kind of boyfriend

TwinkleToes7 15

Saturday 3 May 2014 6:09

Hey, free massage! Sort of .. :)

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Cute Haircut Miscellaneous Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting DIY Cats Family Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Management Poopoo peepee Coworkers Frustration Capitalism Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Anxiety Technology

The Top

Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 500

Today, I received a package addressed to me. Excited, I opened it in front of my whole family. Inside was a box of adult toys that I definitely did not order. Turns out, my friend Mike thought it would be hilarious to send it to me as a joke. My grandma's face will haunt me forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 177

The Top

Today, I got a small scar on my faced removed at a plastic surgeon's. Afterward, I told my mom that losing the scar felt weird, like I lost something that gave me character. My mom replied, "Don't worry, you have plenty of other flaws to give you character." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 050

You deserved it 7 592

Today, I was elected "class mom", even though I didn’t want to do it. I was also handed several envelopes in the hectic school hallway, containing parental cash contributions for the year. I lost several of the envelopes while rushing to my car, and now have to contribute €100 instead of €25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 1 097

Today, during class, a girl had suggested how I, a 16 year-old guy, would be a high maintenance girlfriend. We sat and debated this, allowing for other people to listen in and agree with her, and eventually the entire class agreed with her. Even the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 958

You deserved it 4 922

Today, I planned on "breaking up" with my best friend by confessing my love for her, hoping she would feel different and move on. She reciprocated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 964

You deserved it 33 060

Today, I went to drop the garbage in the compactor as I left to do some shopping. I quickly put my handbag down on the side, threw the 'garbage' in the machine, watched it do its thing, and then turned round to find... the bag of garbage on the side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 161

You deserved it 32 201

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 771

You deserved it 4 494