Kids, Pregnancy and Fight: Science, bitch! - FML

Science, bitch!

By Anonymous - 26/07/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, one of my twin sons found out he's going to be a dad. His little sister who loves science ended up telling him that, since he has a twin who is genetically identical, he's genetically the baby's dad too. My son, being a bit dim, took this to mean his brother slept with his wife and hit him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 110

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/07/2016 16:23 - Sweden - Alingsås

Today, the paternity test came back. It's like I suspected all along; my "son" is actually my half-brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 420

You deserved it 1 858

BREAKING NEWS

By Anonymous - 10/05/2012 20:17 - United States - Aurora

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 185

You deserved it 3 634

By CutestBoysEver - 30/10/2012 01:30 - United States - Fruita

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 761

You deserved it 2 931

By DEDMan - 28/10/2018 17:30

Today, I found out that my 6-year-old son was named after my wife's "Favorite Uncle" because he might also be the father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 984

You deserved it 223

Nurture vs. Nature

By Anonymous - 12/08/2022 22:00

Today, and since forever, my boyfriend has a twin brother. His girlfriend is now pregnant and he was ecstatic. I'm also pregnant but my boyfriend is acting like it’s the end of the world, and has been either drunk or hungover since I told him. So much for twins being alike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 038

You deserved it 340

Family coincidence

By Anonymous - 06/11/2019 02:30

Today with a DNA test, I found out that my husband is my half brother. 30 years ago his father made a donation to the sperm bank my mother used, and I’m the result. To make matters worse, I’m pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 742

You deserved it 209

Keep it in your pants

By bad brother - 04/10/2023 11:00

Today, my sister-in-law announced that she’s pregnant. With my kid. And the doctor thinks it might be twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 2 260

The boy is mine

By Not the daddy-o - 01/03/2023 02:00

Today, I found out that I’m not the father of my “son” but I'm his uncle. The only thing my wife did was to shrug and say, “Shit happens.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 88

By Ben - 18/06/2011 15:34 - United States

Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 808

You deserved it 7 099

By Derek - 05/08/2018 01:30

Today, I found out that my kids are both my half-brothers, and the fertility tests my wife had us do a few years ago showed that I'm sterile. She didn't tell me until I found the test results in her desk and asked her about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 026

You deserved it 283

Next

Top comments

Affilicious 16

Friday 26 July 2024 20:13

Your daughter is an evil genius.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Sunday 28 July 2024 2:22

"A bit dim" is an understatement. Your son is a stupid bastard who needs to go back to school and learn about genetics.

Comments

Affilicious 16

Friday 26 July 2024 20:13

Your daughter is an evil genius.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Sunday 28 July 2024 2:22

"A bit dim" is an understatement. Your son is a stupid bastard who needs to go back to school and learn about genetics.

bidet 8

Monday 29 July 2024 4:14

Is the other twin any smarter?

emmalou 19

Thursday 1 August 2024 7:59

I'm so confused they sound stupid enough to be children but he's old enough to have a wife 😄

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