Health and Painful: Scorpio rising - FML

Scorpio rising

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 03:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was complaining of a scorpion sting on his leg. I told him to stop whining and get over it. Later, as I went to sleep, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. As I flipped on the light, I saw a scorpion crawling over the blankets. Now my entire arm is numb and I can't stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 565

You deserved it 107 561

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It's real, I'm telling you!

By Tenniemo - 20/06/2018 15:00 - United States

Today, while packing up my classroom, I had a sudden stinging pain in my finger. Since I live in Arizona, my first thought was a black widow or scorpion, but the ER doctor didn't believe me and said it's nothing. Tell that to my tingling swollen arm. It’s been 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 820

You deserved it 225

Panic!

By sweetdreams - 18/09/2016 06:39 - United States - New York

Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 782

You deserved it 1 411

Sorry dear

By Empi - 29/11/2022 10:00

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night with a numb arm. When I tried to reposition it, it flew crazily and slapped my girlfriend in the face. My girlfriend, who was in a string of abusive relationships, and has severe PTSD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 168

Freakout

By emmey - 23/07/2009 19:43 - United States

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 918

You deserved it 44 882

By rinakitty94 - 29/06/2015 17:30 - United States - Sunset

Today, my fiancé heard I was having a rotten day at work. He stopped by the flower shop and bought me a lovely rose which I put right next to my work station. That is until a giant wasp flew out and stung me. I still have a swollen arm hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 217

You deserved it 2 247

By eebie jeebies - 30/05/2016 15:31 - United States - Cypress

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 483

You deserved it 3 180

Surrounded

By Alyce - 10/10/2020 17:01 - United States - Lewistown

Today, my significant other woke at 4:30 a.m. to me crying about a spider in the bathroom. I have an intense fear of spiders; he was super nice and took care of it for me. He even walked me out to my car. I started to calm down driving to work, but when I got there what do I see on the door handle but a spider. I'm still shaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 449

Sleep well?

By Karen - 29/08/2022 16:00

Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 74

By StungAlot - 19/06/2012 10:32 - United States

Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 383

You deserved it 2 749

By fack - 29/07/2015 14:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 659

You deserved it 10 792

Next

Top comments

taoxyeuxmay 4

Tuesday 11 August 2009 12:06

Karma is sweet!

redbluegreen 40

Tuesday 11 August 2009 12:08

Gosh, why can't you just 'get over it' yourself? I hate people who say shit like that.

Comments

fml_mu 10

Tuesday 28 February 2012 6:00

One word: Karma!

videokid2000 10

Sunday 3 June 2012 4:39

Get over it, OP. Not so fun when someone else says it, huh?

snapplecap281 19

Wednesday 20 June 2012 23:19

They say karma's only a bitch if you are....

AaliyahMorgan143 5

Friday 22 June 2012 10:52

Haha Bitch ;)

Fuzzymonkey2013 7

Monday 25 June 2012 7:27

I hope he didn't do anything to help you at all

jessicakate 0

Sunday 15 July 2012 23:17

Maybe sort out the whole scorpions in your house thing....

jmanh 6

Tuesday 18 September 2012 6:05

Where did the scorpion come from?

sninaber 2

Thursday 1 November 2012 21:46

Karma is a bitch!

Askud99 14

Monday 10 December 2012 5:12

Karma's a bitch!!

amadisdemitrius 5

Thursday 11 April 2013 23:27

ah yes, the deadly Arizona Karma Scorpion. Stings, dont it?

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