Farts and Kids: Self report

Self report

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 710

You deserved it 8 763

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Same thing different taste

Slippery when wet

By blewidstepr - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 887

You deserved it 6 520

Creepy

By Justinthebox - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, my 5-year-old son made a drawing of our living room, with the addition of an apparition, and the text, "I can see you. Daddy doesn't see you. Who are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 565

You deserved it 423

Well done!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 609

You deserved it 5 044

Record breakers

By fatmom - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Royal Tunbridge Wells

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 594

You deserved it 21 574

By justsomesummer - 26/01/2016 18:09 - United States - Beaverton

Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 912

You deserved it 1 668

Bad boy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my 2 year-old son decided to pee on the dog for the second day in a row. I'm afraid this will turn into a routine thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 276

You deserved it 5 309

Thanks for the info

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 848

You deserved it 634

Inappropriate but funny

By naughtyshirt - 22/08/2009 09:29 - Australia

Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year-old daughter, and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy - I'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 854

You deserved it 4 504

Hard no

By badsitter - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother stopped speaking to me because I won’t let her babysit anymore. Her idea of babysitting is to sit my daughter alone with a tablet and a pile of sugary junk food for 7 hours straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 676

You deserved it 381

Double sus

By Turnipseed3 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 308

You deserved it 3 164

heyyimkell 2

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:13

Haha! You gotta love how honest little kids are. Don't worry though. All 3 year olds say stuff like that.

jillz 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 23:51

Clearly he has an overactive imagination and made that up because we all know that females do not fart.

Comments

cheetahboo2010 5

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:12

FIRST! :) lol but wow that suckss

123sploosh 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:26

damn you!!!!

chipmunk95 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 22:25

@OP llululululululrufffleurrflflfle thats funny u nasty!

dacey_fml 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:13

Oh, wow. I would be so embarrassed.

LexRB 0

Sunday 26 September 2010 15:52

ur not dacey fake

heyyimkell 2

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:13

Haha! You gotta love how honest little kids are. Don't worry though. All 3 year olds say stuff like that.

100lol 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:16

Lol! Kids are kids. :]

chellinha93 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:17

ohhhh the kid just told you off... LOL fyl indeed.

ithedarkone 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:19

GOOD FOR YOU MOM! YDI. your 3 year old son is sleeping in the bed with you lmao and you passing gas and shit. I dont blame him who want to sleep with someone who passes gas and in her panties. Put on a little pj's outfit and clean out your system with some laxatives... Come on mom! =P

WetDream_fml 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:37

Aw. Kid's say the darndest things(;

SimpleSimon 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:44

Fair play to him, I wouldn't sleep with you either.

LexOrdrin 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:44

You had a 3 year old in a doctor's office? That must have been so painful for you!

plexico 3

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:52

And now we have the first contestant voted off of MILF Island. . . She starts her own reality TC show: MIWFWYD (Mother I Wouldn't **** With Your Dick), which is popular only in Wales because they can pronounce that acronym.