Love: Self report

Self report

By SmoothTalker - 16/03/2009 17:40 - United States

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied, "Oh, I usually come early." She laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 328

You deserved it 33 942

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Same thing different taste

By babbling idiot - 14/08/2015 09:35 - Canada

Today, I approached a hot female security guard and attempted to compliment her new tattoos. Instead of saying, "Nice tats", I ended up saying, "Nice tits". My HR meeting is tomorrow morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 475

You deserved it 9 674

Mean Girls

By 1nfected - 26/08/2009 17:07 - Canada

Today, when I arrived at work, I was greeted by my gorgeous coworker telling me my red shirt looked awesome on me. Before I could compliment her, she added that the color was fitting perfectly with my acne. I heard a couple of giggles around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 415

You deserved it 3 638

By EmployeeOfTheMonth - 27/06/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 820

You deserved it 19 224

By fatty - 14/08/2014 03:46 - United States - Madison

Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 369

You deserved it 15 870

Hopeless

By Dumbdumb - 15/02/2010 14:29 - United States

Today, at work, a really hot guy came up to me and asked, "What are your hours?" Excited, I told him I get off at 4, but might be able to get out sooner. He started laughing and then said, "I meant your store hours." He turned around and walked away, shaking his head and laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 722

You deserved it 33 244

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 11:48 - United States

Today, as I was leaving the office, I heard my very cute coworker behind me say "Hey gorgeous, where are you off to?" I turned around with a smile and said "About to hit up happy hour." He was on the phone with his wife. I'm calling in sick tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 479

You deserved it 12 217

Wrong target

By footinmouth - 21/01/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I was hitting on a girl who was getting ready to walk into the same class as me. We were waiting outside the room, so I told her that I'd heard the professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down at a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 917

You deserved it 38 836

Thanks Susan

By Noname - 24/02/2009 23:00 - United States

Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 293

You deserved it 4 929

Suck up

By Anonymous - 22/08/2015 06:58 - United States - Cadillac

Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 795

You deserved it 3 418

By Anonymous - 17/10/2013 13:43 - United States - Romulus

Today, in calculus, our substitute teacher told me I was smart. Everybody in the class, including my friends, burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 841

You deserved it 4 736

vonstrangle 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 0:15

"Today someone had a sense of humor and I didn't. FML"

vietiscool 2

Tuesday 17 March 2009 0:05

it's ok. funny joke.

Comments

firstnlast77 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 21:00

ROFL @23 that was f'n funny

greenfinch 0

Monday 23 March 2009 2:56

This is ridiculous. If people weren't so perverted things like this wouldn't happen. Why does everyone always have to take the wrong meaning of everything everyone says?

Archeros 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 11:51

Oh boo-hoo, shut up and go cry in a corner. We all know the real problem here is that you just can't get laid.

fyasko124 0

Monday 23 March 2009 4:10

hows that bad? good for you she laughed.

Malik_fml 0

Monday 23 March 2009 22:34

That line was on Chuck (a TV show on NBC) just a week or so before this FML was posted. :P

snowhawk22 0

Monday 23 March 2009 22:36

yeah seriously F your life for being a retard and not turning that into a guaranteed ****.

amoral 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 6:34

if you don't want to be made a joke of you use the word "arrive" my friend. come on. otherwise i would correct yourself. perhaps "it seemed like you got there first though. Unless you were planning on leaving and coming back again." have fun with it.

Vehicle 1

Sunday 29 March 2009 17:28

Yeah, #21, that's what SHE said, SHE being the OP's mom! :D

DelSDelT 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 5:14

That's only an FML if you let it be. You made your hot TA laugh; that's a good thing! It was an opportunity to joke around with her and be cute and whatnot.

FMallnight 0

Monday 11 May 2009 9:28

YOU SAY IM PREMATURE I JUST CALL IT ECSTASY

Hockey_Chik 1

Thursday 27 August 2009 6:05

"I wear a ruber at all times it's a necessity!"

blackberry_fml 0

Monday 25 May 2009 6:33

Hilarious... But I am absolutely amazed by the people that commented saying "I don't get it" It just shows that so many young kids get on here.... Ridiculous