Miscellaneous: Slime

Slime

By klyoung5 - 03/01/2011 17:17 - United States

Today, while sitting next to the cute guy in my English class, I had to sneeze. I turned away from him and sneezed into my arm. My long hair got in the way and I accidentally shot a huge snot rocket into my hair. I spent the rest of the class trying to get it out without him noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 406

You deserved it 4 978

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/10/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, in the middle of class, I sneezed out the biggest, wettest booger I have ever seen in my life. I'd used the inside of my elbow to cover my nose, but I neglected to notice that my hair had fallen over my shoulder. I couldn't get it all out of my hair and I don't think any believed me when I said it was hair gel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 177

You deserved it 5 971

Say it, don't spray it

By Anonymous - 05/05/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I was giving a presentation in front of my class. Mid-speech, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze and tried to hold it in. Instead, I let out the most obnoxious, window-rattling sneeze imaginable, complete with a spray of snot, which landed on my notes. I think I traumatized my classmates for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 114

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 365

You deserved it 8 112

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 19:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 892

You deserved it 4 114

What's that?

By breebree-0 - 04/03/2012 19:36 - United States

Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 178

You deserved it 4 403

By BoogieCandy. - 23/10/2009 08:56 - Canada

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 435

You deserved it 8 585

Surprise !

By snottyface - 26/09/2009 03:47 - United States

Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 800

You deserved it 19 476

By lft - 06/06/2009 20:16 - United States

Today, I called over my math teacher to ask a question. I have a really bad cold. I asked him about a problem and he reached over my desk to point at the diagram and explain it. Then I suddenly had to sneeze and I got tons of snot all over his hand and arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 931

You deserved it 10 172

By Embarrassed - 01/10/2010 13:06 - United States

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 497

You deserved it 6 098

Both ends

By Anon - 19/06/2024 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 133

sarahbear430 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:13

at least he didn't notice. this FML would be way worse if it ended with you saying "he was totally grossed out"

zanguard 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 1:15

That does-not sound like much fun. You should have licked it clean in front of him, but not before you offered him some (be polite).

Comments

isaiaha11 2

Monday 3 January 2011 23:11

lol

lifeinhd 3

Monday 3 January 2011 23:19

Snot rocket... lol

urdirtyolduncle 15

Monday 3 January 2011 23:22

I was the guy sitting next to her. Oh, my God, Heather (OP), that's totally disgusting! Now I would never date you!

NuyoRicanGirl 3

Monday 3 January 2011 23:29

LMAO just say it's hair gel =p

fakeaccountX 6

Tuesday 4 January 2011 1:02

Did you ever get it out? Did he ever notice? Thanks for leaving us in suspense!

sirdolittle 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 2:12

I know, it's killing me ! I'll never be able to sleep !!! Zzz ...

fusionss 7

Friday 12 December 2014 15:21

Shut the **** up

sarahbear430 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:13

at least he didn't notice. this FML would be way worse if it ended with you saying "he was totally grossed out"

Vanyaxe 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:17

aww that sucks OP. FYL

Sisaac 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:19

Well, FYL if he noticed. If he didn't, it is just a gross accident, no big deal.

Arschloch04 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:21

You seem like a very snotty person.

GwenBites 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 7:22

…jerk…

InBetweenDreams 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:22

Maybe he didn't notice. This would be way worse if you started talking to him with it in your hair and HE pointed it out to you.

daddy15 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:35

ydi for trying too hard.

mooshibear140 4

Thursday 23 June 2011 1:15

How was her sneezing into her arm and then trying to get the snot out after she got it in her hair "trying too hard"?

RosiePatosie 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:38

Did you get it?

laurenlovefulful 5

Monday 3 January 2011 23:47

That sucks :( at least he didnt notice!

cbranflakes 1

Tuesday 4 January 2011 3:55

haha that's what I was thinking

dani22097 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:49

you are so puny

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The Top

Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 145

You deserved it 7 104

Today, I told my mom that I think I’m anorexic and she told me she didn’t care. When I asked why, in disbelief she replied, "Honey, you are 5’3 and over 350 lbs, at this point you NEED to be anorexic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 780

The Top

Today, I held a family reunion at my house. I bought a present for my nephew and to mix things up, I hid it in the house. We let him search around, amused, when he suddenly emerged shouting “Auntie has a sword!” He had opened the drawer on my nightstand and pulled out my vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 829

You deserved it 1 930

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 973

You deserved it 5 579

Today, my car was damaged in an accident. At the garage, I happened to find out that if some big insurance company is paying for the repairs, they only charge half the hourly rate they charge people who have to pay from their own meager salaries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 100

Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 635

You deserved it 83 252

Today, at my new job, I walked into the office to hear my supervisor and HR manager talking about how, "the new guy isn't very smart, but we can get him to do the shit work for a couple weeks." Gee, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 750

You deserved it 2 022

Today, my neighbor's kid started learning the violin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 430

You deserved it 502