Sex and Intimacy: Smart kid - FML

Smart kid

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Pleasanton

Spicy

Today, my neighbor pointed at me and said to his best friend, "This motherfucker still lives with his mama. That's why he can't get no pussy." I'm thirty. My neighbor is eleven, and correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 673

You deserved it 8 364

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Top comments

Econforthwin 15

Monday 7 September 2015 17:06

Well ignoring the fact that an 11 year old shouldn't talk like that, maybe consider getting your own place and starting an independent life.

beeferjay 34

Monday 7 September 2015 17:02

im guessing you are leaving out other key facts that contribute to your lack of said pussy

Comments

da_epic_failman 7

Saturday 23 January 2016 19:19

Lol. Me and my friends were just as foul-mouthed at that age!

mccuish 25

Monday 24 April 2023 7:08

I’m 32 years old and still live with my parents. I just don’t feel the need to move out anytime soon. I’m happy living with my parents

Keywords

Gross Miscellaneous Insects Cute Neighbours Kids Proposal Awkward Love Delivery Health Amazon Relatable Hair Scary Allergies Dogs Animals Babysitter Skincare Emergency Doctor Hospital Vacation Engagement ring AITA Social Media Facebook Money Scams

The Top

Today, after having spent years staying in school, working hard to achieve good grades, and avoiding all the bad kids, my mom accused me of having no direction in life and complained about how I haven't given her a grandchild yet. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 053

You deserved it 3 331

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity." I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 450

You deserved it 3 310

The Top

Today, my long distance girlfriend finally responded to me, after a week of silence. Unfortunately, the response was to block me. I'm pretty sure she has found someone else, but doesn't want to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 135

Today, I gave a speech at a charity fundraiser. I didn't realize how close I was standing to the fan, which automatically went on. As soon as I said, "this is why you should pledge," my dress flew up. I then learned how quickly phones can take pictures and emails of my underwear can be sent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 545

You deserved it 353

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 233

You deserved it 3 200

Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 137

You deserved it 559

Today, I let my mother use my computer for school work. Later that day my mom asks me what's wrong with the computer. I look at it, only seeing a "Welcome to Windows XP" screen. She said that she saw a blue screen and pressed L and C when it asked her to. My mom managed to clear my hard drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 042

You deserved it 3 549

Today, I'd arranged a family reunion to see family I hadn't seen in years. Out of about 20 people, only 3 said they would come. One messaged to cancel the night before. The other two no-showed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 118