Intimacy: So hot

So hot

By bonesniffer - 16/09/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 841

You deserved it 6 060

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/12/2009 08:29 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was sleeping, I got naked and sat on top of him. He woke up and I asked him if he would rather stay awake or go back to sleep, in hopes that he would stay awake and want to do some naughty stuff with me. His response? To grab my butt, and then go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 336

You deserved it 19 978

By left out wet - 22/06/2019 22:08

Today, I was laying in bed completely naked, uncovered and waiting for my husband to walk in. He laid down in bed and starting playing with his phone instead of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 734

You deserved it 246

By coldwetnose - 09/05/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 226

You deserved it 18 912

Make your mind up!

By nextcontestant16 - 19/11/2012 15:12 - United States

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 596

You deserved it 5 125

Crazy nights

By Ugh... - 20/07/2010 08:15 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 566

You deserved it 10 079

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 569

You deserved it 6 833

By horny21 - 21/02/2010 08:19 - Canada

Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 520

You deserved it 4 038

By princess - 17/03/2009 05:06 - Canada

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 964

You deserved it 40 648

Nobody's fooled

By sandy - 17/03/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, I was completely naked in my boyfriend's bed. Suddenly his mom yelled that she was coming in so that she could get to the attic. I pulled a blanket up to my neck, hoping she would think I was just cold. She had to step over my bra and panties on her way to the attic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 175

You deserved it 90 740

Manchild

By Anonymous - 02/11/2021 05:00

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years thought it would be funny to squat above my head completely naked while I was sleeping. When I woke up, his asshole and ball sack was in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 387

You deserved it 296

sourgirl101 28

Thursday 16 September 2010 12:16

I feel sorry for your boyfriend if you expect him to do all the work. Ummm you need to do more then just show up naked!

sourgirl101 28

Thursday 16 September 2010 12:51

WTF So he's cheating because he didn't have sex with you one time? What have you been smoking in that blunt?

Comments

LuCanO 0

Friday 17 September 2010 3:47

FYL OP, what an idiot to not notice what you wanted and what you wanted to share with him.

ZomgWeAreClubKid 0

Friday 17 September 2010 4:08

Haha maybe what he felt scared him.

purple91 8

Friday 17 September 2010 5:05

Why didn't you make what you wanted more clear OP? Or wake him up in a nice way? My boyfriend never rejects me when I wake him up for sex.

SomePeoplesChild 0

Friday 17 September 2010 5:36

Ever think he wasn't prepared for it and was dead tired My hubby works real hard and i cant bash him for touching my ass and falling asleep. Now if I had his dick in my mouth and he started snoring…now that's a different story all together. If he does it again A) Dump him and find another or B) Get him sexy hot and feeling tall, bop his dick with a cold spoon. Make it sexy I know you can 

rwctkd95 0

Friday 17 September 2010 6:25

u need to get advice from sir mix alot. u gotta have back!

El_Mero_Mero 0

Friday 17 September 2010 10:12

you boyfriend sucks! I woulda been all over that ass! don't wanna sound like a prev lol *turns around in bed* damn ;( FML

JustJess666 0

Friday 17 September 2010 15:31

wow that sucks but just because you got naked doesn't mean he is going to go for it. maybe you should have been laying in the middle so he couldn't lay down and tell him sex now! then rip his clothes off and start with the head to get him in the mood. or the reason he turned over is because he wants you to do him in the ass and give him a reach around??? o well to each his own.

mmmbaritone 0

Friday 17 September 2010 15:54

I just love how everyone assumes that this is about a man and a woman and not a man and a man.

JustJess666 0

Friday 17 September 2010 15:58

well either way he or she needs to assert themselves on bed with their partner and get what they want not just lay there.

gusgus36 5

Friday 17 September 2010 17:51

yeah it really doesn't make a difference in the story either way. and I mean...statistically speaking, probably there are more heterosexual people on FML than homosexual, so chances are good that this is about a guy and a girl, so it's natural that people would assume that, and there was no need in the story to have to indicate either way.