Intimacy: So hot

So hot

By bonesniffer - 16/09/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 841

You deserved it 6 060

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/12/2009 08:29 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was sleeping, I got naked and sat on top of him. He woke up and I asked him if he would rather stay awake or go back to sleep, in hopes that he would stay awake and want to do some naughty stuff with me. His response? To grab my butt, and then go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 336

You deserved it 19 978

By left out wet - 22/06/2019 22:08

Today, I was laying in bed completely naked, uncovered and waiting for my husband to walk in. He laid down in bed and starting playing with his phone instead of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 734

You deserved it 246

By coldwetnose - 09/05/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 226

You deserved it 18 912

Make your mind up!

By nextcontestant16 - 19/11/2012 15:12 - United States

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 596

You deserved it 5 125

Crazy nights

By Ugh... - 20/07/2010 08:15 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 566

You deserved it 10 079

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 569

You deserved it 6 833

By horny21 - 21/02/2010 08:19 - Canada

Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 520

You deserved it 4 038

By princess - 17/03/2009 05:06 - Canada

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 964

You deserved it 40 648

Nobody's fooled

By sandy - 17/03/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, I was completely naked in my boyfriend's bed. Suddenly his mom yelled that she was coming in so that she could get to the attic. I pulled a blanket up to my neck, hoping she would think I was just cold. She had to step over my bra and panties on her way to the attic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 175

You deserved it 90 740

Manchild

By Anonymous - 02/11/2021 05:00

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years thought it would be funny to squat above my head completely naked while I was sleeping. When I woke up, his asshole and ball sack was in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 387

You deserved it 296

sourgirl101 28

Thursday 16 September 2010 12:16

I feel sorry for your boyfriend if you expect him to do all the work. Ummm you need to do more then just show up naked!

sourgirl101 28

Thursday 16 September 2010 12:51

WTF So he's cheating because he didn't have sex with you one time? What have you been smoking in that blunt?

Comments

bigsc 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 20:37

maybe he thought you finally caved, and decided to sleep naked for him. He didn't want to discourage you from ever doing it again by assuming you wanted sex, so he left you alone.

Trollz4daLULZ 1

Thursday 16 September 2010 21:10

OOOOOOH it feels so good to say this again: YDI for attempting to FORNICATE!!!! Also, YDI for the following other reasons: getting naked for ANY reason (even a shower), owning a bed, and using sugar when making cornbread (only Yankees do that!). For those who want to complain about me and my YDIs: I emailed [email protected], and I was told as long as I didn't do those long-ass lists like I used to that take up much of a page, I was good to go! SO SUCK MY GIANT SWINGING GIRAFFE BALLS!

shadyecko 0

Friday 17 September 2010 5:20

For the ******* win!!!

Spastastic 6

Friday 17 September 2010 13:48

I was wondering where those went! Glad you're back.

chall16thvet 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 21:37

u should have reached for that dick and sucked it

bonesniffer 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 22:37

My username is bonesniffer. Not BONERSNIFFER. Learn to read :]

Trollz4daLULZ 1

Thursday 16 September 2010 22:41

Same thing.

Mubus 0

Friday 17 September 2010 2:32

lol no offence but you are butt ugly OP.

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Friday 17 September 2010 4:34

lol all offense but you are a total dick, Mubus. -.-

WallyTheWombat 0

Friday 17 September 2010 19:00

I think she's pretty hot. I love the hair. anyway next time, just start with the foreplay with or without him. You have to get the guy in the mood if he's sleeping. I'm a heavy sleeper and sometimes I'd wake up with my gf already half way done (so hot). Anyway, next time you gotta get him in the mood instead of expecting him to be in the mood. when I've been asleep for 30 mins and someone wakes me up, I'm in the mood to go right back to sleep. Get his blood pumping and get some ;)