Intimacy, Sex, Dogs and Awkward: Sorry little buddy

Sorry little buddy

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 06:00

Today, during quite vigorous unprotected sex with my partner, I got a bit over-excited and on the pullout, my ejaculate shot from me, across my partner, and hit the dog who had decided to jump on the bed. My partner found it hilarious; I feel like I'm going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 476

You deserved it 573

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Same thing different taste

You tried

By Loveless - 10/09/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 159

You deserved it 5 701

By Anonymous - 13/09/2012 05:30 - Canada - Campbell River

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 149

You deserved it 5 396

By Anonymous - 25/08/2018 06:00

Today, I was engaged in intercourse with my fiancée when her dog decided take a loud dump in front of the fan that was pointed at us. Needless to say, intercourse ended very abruptly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 010

You deserved it 349

By Puppy Loverr - 25/08/2011 07:12 - Australia

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 441

You deserved it 4 844

By PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 211

You deserved it 26 152

By GiveADogABone - 15/10/2015 22:47 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 055

You deserved it 3 517

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 715

You deserved it 6 019

Kinky

By LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 784

You deserved it 7 879

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 176

You deserved it 10 862

By caligirl921 - 11/12/2010 06:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 090

You deserved it 21 132

Michael Sawyer 11

Tuesday 12 April 2022 6:01

sorry i couldn't react one way or the other. I couldn't stop laughing.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 12 April 2022 15:10

That's the saddest story of a dog getting shot since Old Yeller.

Comments

Michael Sawyer 11

Tuesday 12 April 2022 6:01

sorry i couldn't react one way or the other. I couldn't stop laughing.

SirEnigM0nk 22

Tuesday 12 April 2022 6:18

That's one way to screw the pooch!

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Tuesday 12 April 2022 8:22

Could be worse, you could have discovered you have a new kink.

ninjacat 10

Tuesday 12 April 2022 12:24

TBH this is just dumb. The pull out method doesn’t work and you should have been using a condom and/or she should be on one of the many birth control options available. This was easily avoidable.

wtafisgoah54 4

Tuesday 12 April 2022 13:56

You’re assuming the partner isn’t already on birth control of some sorts. Regardless it’s always easier to clean the mess up on the road than it is deep in the tunnel.

kitten79TX 5

Tuesday 12 April 2022 13:58

He never said his partner is a woman. He could have been pulling out for a different reason.

kitten79TX 5

Tuesday 12 April 2022 13:57

That IS hilarious. Loosen up and see the humor.Most adults have some funny sex story. I love it when funny things happen during sex and my husband and I laugh about it together.

kitten79TX 5

Tuesday 12 April 2022 14:01

And also, assuming yoir partner is a female, and you are using the pull out method to avoid pregnancy...STOP IT!!! It's not an effective form of birth of birth control. The best protection is a condom paired with your girlfriend using a speemicide. And/or, you using a condom AND her using the pill. Be smart, do some research, and talk to a doctor for better options. The pull out method is like playing Russian Roulette!