Kids: Spooky

Spooky

By BadgerSpirit - 27/04/2011 13:35 - United States

Today, I woke my husband up at 2 a.m., screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally said, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four-year-old daughter with her blanket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 882

You deserved it 43 834

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Zack - 01/04/2012 21:36 - United States - Duncannon

Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 749

You deserved it 26 521

Spooked

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 253

By Anonymous - 11/03/2013 23:32 - Ireland

Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 708

You deserved it 6 571

Yikes

By AAAAAAAAAAAAA - 11/07/2022 07:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I heard a scream that sounded suspiciously like my cat when he's just had a nightmare or is otherwise in a state of extreme distress. I found him chilling on my couch, so I walked back to my room, when I heard the scream again. I ran back and he was still chilling. It was my neighbor's son screaming outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 148

By Anonymous - 12/01/2010 07:45 - United States

Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 231

You deserved it 23 778

Prank wars

By Divorcemenow - 17/07/2009 22:02 - United States

Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 629

You deserved it 6 972

By Anonymous - 15/12/2012 15:55 - United States - Amsterdam

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 002

You deserved it 2 498

React content

By fmlfmlfml - 02/06/2009 18:03 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 960

You deserved it 252 003

Baby fever

By SkeetinKeaton - 06/05/2013 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 400

You deserved it 6 565

By lon01t - 07/05/2012 20:43 - United Kingdom - Falkirk

Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 293

You deserved it 2 647

ceddyz17 10

Wednesday 27 April 2011 18:49

a badger? is she that hairy

Awahso 25

Wednesday 27 April 2011 18:53

Wow, self esteem boost for her

Comments

Calyx_fml 21

Wednesday 27 April 2011 19:05

If there actually were a badger in the room then screaming would not help.

zeligtheblessed 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 4:50

2nd most deadly... the crotch badger is the most deadly

Syko2020 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 19:05

both of you are ******* ...word of advice instead of screaming take action and smack it around then ask questions

dd3953 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 20:44

wonder how the kid would feel about that advice......

Soloman212 28

Monday 23 May 2011 4:56

Today, I woke up to find a badger on the floor. I promptly curb-stomped it then dragon-kicked it across the room, only to find out it was just my 4-year-old under a blanket. FML

anim0sitee 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 19:09

Rofl. This sounds like something my husband would say/do in his sleep.

LSU33DucKAholiC 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 19:13

I thought it was gonna finish with her saying it was just a dream lol

eyemdope 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 19:11

Lmao, all bad

Quasar55_fml 18

Wednesday 27 April 2011 19:14

A badger ? Thats not the scarriest creature on the planet ...

gttogo2003 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 21:48

yeah a 4 year old is worse lol

EMTchic 14

Sunday 12 August 2012 10:13

*scariest I know this is old but that was bothering me .

bamfxd 4

Wednesday 27 April 2011 19:19

Omg eff your duaghter's life.

padlarf 14

Wednesday 27 April 2011 19:22

SNAKE! SNAKE! Ooooh it's a snake!

aRedditorette 3

Wednesday 27 April 2011 19:24

mushroom MUSHROOMMMM

Xythenol 6

Wednesday 27 April 2011 23:42

Itsa badgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadger

Ciiigarettes 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 7:29

Lmfao.

maphineRAWRS 10

Wednesday 27 April 2011 19:23

badgerbadgerbadgerbadgerMUSHROOM, MUSHROOM!

Deepfsyl 2

Wednesday 27 April 2011 19:29

hahaha yesss!

collegegirl87 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 21:52

I love that video!!!

Violat3r 19

Wednesday 27 April 2011 23:57

omg, I love that old video! been so many years!! woo!!

my2centsworth 15

Wednesday 27 April 2011 19:24

Your life is indeed ****** if you have a child that can be mistaken for a badger. Perhaps you could start saving now for some therapy and a great deal of plastic surgery. Good luck.