Love, Dating and Happy New Year: Squatters' rights

Squatters' rights

By Anonymous - 10/01/2021 08:01

Today, I had the best date I've had in my life, until after we ate and split an expensive dinner out, we came back to my place and she then told me she was homeless, and wasn't looking to date but for a couch to crash on. She won't leave. Happy fucking New Year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 459

You deserved it 322

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 01/05/2011 03:16 - United States

Today, the lease on my house ended and I finished moving in with my girlfriend. After everything was moved in, she broke up with me. Hello homelessness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 676

You deserved it 4 160

By foreverAlone - 04/04/2016 19:40 - United States - Chesapeake Beach

Today, I met a cute girl. She seemed really sweet and I was heartbroken to find out that she had fallen on hard times and was living in a shelter. I asked her if I could take her out to lunch. She said, "No." I can't even get a date with a homeless girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 412

You deserved it 5 246

By Alec - 10/12/2012 07:01 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 795

You deserved it 1 920

Mixed signals

By fuck - 18/04/2015 14:38 - United States - Saint Thomas

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said, "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 568

You deserved it 35 074

By killmenow - 19/02/2009 21:52 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 299

You deserved it 3 494

Life decisions

By Anonymous - 08/09/2020 05:05

Today, I decided to break up with my girlfriend after I got home and realised I was happier sat in my car on the street than I would be if I went inside and had to put up with her whining and her two spoiled daughters for even one more day. So now I’m happy, but also homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 599

You deserved it 426

By Mad Munki - 07/12/2017 05:00

Today, I went on the best date of my life with someone I’ve admired for a very long time. On the car ride home, she vomited all over my lap and informed me that she’s moving across the country next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 876

You deserved it 361

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 559

You deserved it 2 947

By steak through the heart - 18/11/2014 18:57 - United States - El Monte

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 070

You deserved it 4 128

By Anonymous - 31/12/2008 01:36 - France

Today, I'm spending New Year's Eve absolutely alone. My girlfriend canceled our plans the day before so she could spend it with strangers and booze. Somehow, I still love her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 087

You deserved it 11 333

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 10 January 2021 16:41

I don't see the problem. You have the best date of your life right there in your house! Play your cards right and she'll make the short move from your couch to your bed soon. Don't **** it up with a stupid promise ring!

red6joker 8

Sunday 10 January 2021 13:19

start recording and call the cops.

Comments

red6joker 8

Sunday 10 January 2021 13:19

start recording and call the cops.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 10 January 2021 22:41

The cops aren't going to do anything. You've got a beautiful woman living at your house -- they're not going to feel sorry for you. Like when those neighborhood kids ditched their Ferraris on my lawn so they could drive Kias ironically. The cops thought I should be grateful.

tounces7 27

Tuesday 12 January 2021 0:26

I realize Richard is joking but he's also not entirely wrong. A lot of cops would not, in fact, care, and are very heavily biased.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 10 January 2021 16:41

tounces7 27

Sunday 10 January 2021 21:01

Call the police. She doesn't get squatters rights when she just got there.

Seeya55 31

Monday 11 January 2021 3:01

Yep, it's now called trespassing when they won't leave. Even if it's a guest. If they wont leave nicely, call the police. Record all conversations and honestly, start the restraining order now. You think I'm nuts? People GO NUTS when they are punished for doing shit like this. There is a high possibility she will come back and trespass again or vandalize your property. Sorry OP. Good luck!

spinspinsugar 12

Monday 11 January 2021 20:09

"hello, police....?

ghostinflames 13

Tuesday 12 January 2021 8:42

She must be psycho. The bad thing is, telling her to leave you alone will only make it worse. Just tie her to your bed! Nah, let the cops handcuff her while you put your home on lockdown from intruders.